A Friend of the Poor
Every young adult event I go to in the Church, someone asks the question: How do I know what God's will is for my life?
And every response I've heard is vague or different.
I've heard all sorts of wisdom: Pray. Pay attention to your dreams. Listen to the wisdom of others. Write down your desires. Make a pros and cons list. Follow the path of least resistance. Look at what's happening in the 'concrete.'
Done all of that. Each one gives me a different answer at different times depending on my mood for the day. The concrete says one direction. Prayer says a different one. My dreams say a completely different one. My desires all over the place. The wisdom of others points to two different directions.
Discernment feels like a confusing mess. In fact, I told my spiritual director that. I have never been more confused of God's will and it's leading me to discouragement and despair.
Why can I hear God's voice in the small everyday things to know His will in those, but not in the big things? Why is His voice muddled in the biggest decision of my life? Why are there signs in multiple directions? Why can't His voice be discerned easily in larger matters?
My spiritual director said, "Because it's the big one."
So be it. But I guess I just can't take that for an answer when restlessness brews inside of me each day.
I'm not alone in this confusion. Other young people clearly are asking the same questions. They come up at every event. Then, we all hang out afterwards and talk about how confused we are and try to direct one another. It's become almost a part of community-building!
The best thing the Church can do for us is send us guides. Please, send us guides! People who know the way and can show us the way.