When Your Alleluia Feels Broken

Sometimes Alleluias feel joyful. Sometimes Alleluias feel broken.

I was singing Alleluias at Mass in the church choir recently and for the first time I felt very conscious of my Alleluia feeling broken. I was singing it, but there was no joy behind it -- just a broken spirit. I could feel my eyes water and squint trying to hold back my true feelings. 

And in that moment I could hear God tell me to keep singing it despite my empty heart.

Then I recalled a difficult period of my life when I was introduced to Praise and Worship Adoration which I would go to at least once a month, and it's at those that I learned it's possible to adore and praise God even through the worst of times. It's possible for God to break into your heart in broken times through your act of praise.

More than once, my brokenness moved to joy during those Adorations. My spirit was lifted just by praising, singing and praying fruitful words. That's the power of the Holy Spirit.

I think that's the lesson. Keep singing. Keep praising. Keep adoring. Keep worshiping. Even when your spirit is breaking. Even when your heart feels broken. Even when God's love feels far away.

Let your broken Alleluia give way to your joyful Alleluia.