Leaving the Upper Room

I recently moved out of my third floor corner apartment to a new condo. About a year ago after Easter, I started to call this apartment "the upper room" after realizing God led me to this room to encounter Jesus in a new way. My upper room had remarkable similarities to the one in the Bible.

Three years ago, I left my darling home in a nearby suburb after my 7 year marriage died, knowing I couldn't maintain it on my own. I remember the day I left my home -- it was a dark day of sadness and suffering. This apartment would never feel like home to me, I thought to myself back then. This place was a symbol of death -- death of all I loved in my life and had to leave behind.

For three years, I stayed in this upper room -- encountering both the suffering and the risen Christ in my solitude, grief and new life.

My upper room always felt like a transition space and not like my permanent home, and that is what it proved to be. As I leave this apartment or "upper room," for me, it is no longer the sad place it was on moving day three years ago. No, instead it will always have fond memories for me of meeting my Lord in a new way that I could have only come to on my own.

This is the place I met my Lord, one on one. This is the place I fell in love with the Lord, talked to Him as a friend, grew to know Him more deeply, and learned to share my life with -- the joys, sorrows, confusion, and laughs. This is the place I sang passionately to God, praised Him, danced for Him, and gazed on His face. This is the place I suffered...and rose...and encountered His mercy and compassion over and over again in ways I never imagined. This is the place where the mysteries of Scripture started to become enlightening, and where I grew to understand the Word. This was the place where on my walks in the evening, I heard my parish's bells ring and it gave me comfort. This is the place where I awoke early to encounter God in the rising sun, brightly shining through my windows. Most importantly, this was the transition place where I emerged as a disciple in a new, stronger way.

We all have an upper room. Whether quite literally or simply in our hearts. 

Goodbye upper room. Today I cry not because of sadness or fear of the life I'm leaving behind, but because of gratitude and being touched in this special place. Thank you Lord for transforming this into a place where I saw only death, to a place of new life, encountering You, and blossoming into who You made me to be.