resubmission of I am the Begining and the End.
Oh, Our Ego Self
Photo By: Flickr/Marcelo César Augusto Romeo
From my journals---This entry was written on 08/08/86.
Hello my friend Jesus: Coming to you now, standing here before you, what do You see? You are so glad to see me, to come visit me; why do I take so long in coming apart to spend this time alone? Busy life, working, and caring for those I love? Working out little details of our care and the care of the house, I am always giving of myself; or so I think, but who is in control?
My friend Jesus helps me to recognize that person who lives within me. There is another self and that is “fleshly ego.” To protect our fragile ego, we build it up, doing good things so we feel important. We sing our own praises with all the opinions we think are so wise and wonderful. We judge and criticize others, so we ourselves are lifted higher than we are. Again all this is done to reaffirm in us—I am OKAY!! This ego has also led us down paths of righteousness for our own sake. Ego has become angered when others in their own ego trip have hurt and offended us as they, too, scared and fearful lashed out at us. Each ego struggles to stay alive within each human being. Everything we do is basically done to feed the fragile ego that wants to be king of our lives. We are miserable Lord living for this other self, a fleshly king.
Now Jesus, You come and say to me. “I am your other self! I love you more than all the people in the world can love you. You were created that unique special person you are, just like the Father wanted you to be. That is an image of Me, His only Son. You are a person of boundless love. Now let us step away from ego, that worried, hassled, angry, bitter, resentful and fragile ego, which clings to false gods for security. These gods temporarily make the ‘ego self’ feel good, and then leave an empty, guilty and sad feeling inside. Frighten and anxious, you search for more love and reaffirming of self. This ego becomes addicted, and that is why, my other self, you are called to be humble, to empty your being of this self-seeking nature. You must die to all the needs and wants of ‘ego self,’ and to willfully tell ‘ego self,’ I am cutting myself away from you."
Now an empty vessel-temple-mirror—we turn to Jesus—only to find Him gone. But wait, you become aware of His presence. Now no longer before you, but in and totally surrounding you.
He speaks again. “My precious friend, my other self, now myself. I must caution you. ‘Ego self’ will fight daily to reenter the Kingdom we share and steal the throne from Me. With the Name, Jesus, firmly tell ego to go and turn quickly from the bait he sets to enter in. To become more My Image and Self, come daily to talk with me as you have now. Come and read my letters I left for you through the Prophets and the Apostles. I love you my other self, protect and treasure My presence within you by totally abandoning “self” to Me. Then as you do this, you will be ready to receive all My Father has promised for you.”
This is an excerpt from the book written "My Journey-My Cross: As the Journals End," that I was led to write as we traveled in 2009. I find it very interesting how today, what was written still helps me with my daily travels now. My pen name is Beth Ana and Westbow Press, Amazon, and Barnes and Noble all have the book available online. God does speak to us when we Listen.
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About the Author
Born the youngest of nine children, raised VERY Catholic across the street from Immaculate Heart of Mary church and school—Mom and Dad led by example and word their FAITH in God and saw to it that I was given 12 years of Catholic Education. (Mount St. Mary’s Academy/1965)
But, most importantly, because of my parents’ spiritual renewal after attending Cursillo Weekends, I too went on a retreat at our beloved Subiaco Abbey in Arkansas and there, at age 20, gave my life totally, surrendering all to my Lord and best Friend. This was my “Pentecostal” event that left me, like all the early Christians, on fire with God’s love and forever changed.
My husband Robert and I have been married for 52 this year in a marriage arranged by God. We have 8 children, two in heaven, 24 grandchildren, and 15 great-grandchildren. The story of our life together can be found in a book titled “My Journey, My Cross-As the Journals End,” published by Westbow Press . Our life together has been one awesome up and down roller coaster ride which enriched my heart with so many of the gifts of the Holy Spirit. I have found that the only way, Wisdom, Understanding, Words of Knowledge, Discernment, and Healing can be received is first by experiencing in your life the hurts of others. (and you yourself a sword will pierce)* so that the thoughts of many hearts may be revealed.” Luke 2 v 35.
God has blessed me also many other talents and skills--but sometimes, blessings/gifts can and have caused problems or conflict in my life, as I am human and all too quickly that part of me shows up. Thank You God that You also show up!
Because of the many ways that He has rescued me, and taught me through my trials and tribulations and continuous cries for “Help”--- a weekly podcast radio show called “It’s Me, God” can still be found on www.radiotitans.com
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