Have Patience With All Things, but First of All With Yourself

What kind of world would we live in if public figures and political leaders took a other-first approach, instead of seeking fame and recognition? Hundreds of years before Christ, Plato envisioned what he called a “philosopher king,” a leader who cared more about virtue and truth first and foremost in how they led. How can we do this in a miniature way in our own lives? Similarly, how can we ensure the end of our actions are focused on love of God and other, and not love of ourselves? Why must we, as St Francis states, “please God”? If God is sufficient and content in himself, why this need?

Related to that, with this need to put God first, is God guilty of betraying St. Francis’s advice in this reflection?

These are some of points raised in a recent online “Living Jesus” chat sponsored by the Visitation Sisters below.

(Why not join our chat this Sunday? Go to the Visitation Sisters’ “Living Jesus Chat Room.”)

Emma: Hi all! St. Francis de Sales gives us so much wonderful insight in how to live Jesus. I honestly cannot envision a Philosopher King – Even King David was a very flawed individual and yet he loved God purely and in truth. To ensure our actions are motivated in purity and not selfish is so difficult. Only with prayer – fervent and heartfelt begging – can we hope to receive clarity regarding this. It requires one to be painfully honest with oneself by uniting our will to God’s will – desiring to surrender your entire will to Him is like falling into a pond and sinking down, down so deeply into Him – and letting go – resisting the fear that urges you to swim back to the top to gasp air. You have to sink until you disappear, and your “self” becomes so much him that it destroys your disordered will.

Emma: Pleasing God – is becoming one with him and you have to want it more than anything or anyone else. perfect detachment – not selfish or self-centered – buy sublimely united.

Emma: Putting God first is a topic I try very hard to explain to my 6th graders every year. They cannot imagine putting anything before their parents – family. I tell them that it’s a complete trust in God – and that he can care for and take of their family so much more than we can do it for ourselves. The Abraham and Isaac story – the degree of trust that is being shown in this story tells us how hard it is to do it. To trust God to such a radical extent. Very counter cultural – this selfless all-or-nothing.

Emma: Pleasing God – as a young person – whenever I would get angry with someone or upset and didn’t know how to respond – I used to ask myself: what would be pleasing to God? I have to always act in a way that is pleasing to God. I’m sure it saved me from blurting out hurtful things – saved me from judging others too harshly.

Julie: God be praised! He has given you a heart that’s willing to please Him.

Emma: Oh, He has all my heart.

Julie: I have joined the Brooklyn Visitation Monastery.

Emma: When did you join them? I was there for a week in July (so hot!) and had a very good retreat.

Julie: I am sure you have a good one. My entering date is October 16th.

Emma: Oh, how wonderful for you. I will be there next weekend – Friday – Sunday. It will be nice to meet you and hear how you came to enter BVM.

Julie: When God called me, I responded, and that’s how it happened.

Julie: Looking forward to meeting you when you come.

Visitation Sister: Hi, everyone!

Emma: When God called me – it scared the heck out of me, and I said: “busy right now – let me get back to you on that.” But that gentle tug has been very persistent.

Emma: Hi, Sister.

Visitation Sister: Welcome, viewers.

Julie: My heart is restless until it rests in You.

Lydia: Mother, did you like Bishop Schneider’s talk?

Visitation Sister: I saw the first third so far and it is great and powerful. I will watch it in pieces!

Lydia: He is wonderful.

Emma: is it on YouTube? I would like to watch too.

Visitation Sister: The part about Freemasons mostly so far.

Visitation Sister: Yes, YouTube.

Emma: I had a Freemason try to argue his point with me this summer – I did not engage him as I thought it would be futile and frustrating.

Lydia: YouTube link: https://youtu.be/LE2MKgsSoPk 

Emma: Thank you!

Lydia: This is his new book.

Visitation Sister: Thanks, Lydia.

Taking an Other-First Approach

Visitation Sister: Repeating the questions here: 

1) What kind of world would we live in if public figures and political leaders took an other-first approach, instead of seeking fame and recognition? 

2) Hundreds of years before Christ, Plato envisioned what he called a “philosopher king,” a leader who cared more about virtue and truth first and foremost in how they led. How can we do this in a miniature way in our own lives? 

3) Similarly, how can we ensure the end of our actions are focused on love of God and other, and not love of ourselves? 

4) Why must we, as St Francis states, “please God”? If God is sufficient and content in himself, why this need? 

5) Related to that, with this need to put God first, is God guilty of betraying St. Francis’s advice in this reflection?

Visitation Sister: Now one by one!

Visitation Sister: 1) What kind of world would we live in if public figures and political leaders took an other-first approach, instead of seeking fame and recognition?

Lydia: For the first question, I think that it would depend on what the politician thought was good for people.

Visitation Sister: They would be true statesmen, for starters.

Emma: 4. because we are made for Him – He desires us ardently and loves us more than we can imagine. Seeking to please him is drawing closer to Him and brings us the greatest good and joy.

Lydia: If they are not Catholic and holy, I do not think it would necessarily help the world.

Lydia: Some people think it helps women to allow abortion.

Visitation Sister: ??

Lydia: It is really about the politician being holy.

Visitation Sister: ok!

Lydia: Nancy Pelosi and Joe Biden claim to be Catholic but allow abortion for other people.

Lydia: They think they are helping but are not.

Emma: I am not sure it is humanly possible as power and leadership is corrupting – altruism? the Altruistic gets crucified. Politicians compromise truth.

Visitation Sister: We would have humble statesmen if fame and fortune were lessened or eliminated as motives, possibly.

Lydia: Popes in some way have to be politicians and Pope St. JPII ended communism.

Denise: Or term limits imposed.

Emma: Perhaps a vow of poverty would help!

Visitation Sister: Did we have some in American history?

Visitation Sister: They did believe in God, our country’s founders.

Julie: Are there holy non-Catholic politician in the history?

Visitation Sister: They were mostly Protestants – Lincoln might be the closest to being humble I am not sure.

Lydia: I think regular politicians have to have such big egos to be elected that they almost never really have completely pure motives.

Julie: I think this depends on how one defines holy.

Emma: I do not believe the founding fathers were terribly altruistic – they wanted freedom from tyranny, and it was kind of about money interests.

Visitation Sister: Power and position does affect even the best sometimes.

Julie: Yes, I agree, it happened even in churches.

Emma: Money is the final tipping point in true holiness – the rich man walked away sad…it was the one thing he would not give up.

Emma: Do you imagine that homeless people actually reject the safety and comfort and stability intentionally?

Lydia: Some do.

The Philosopher King

Visitation Sister: 2. Hundreds of years before Christ, Plato envisioned what he called a “philosopher king,” a leader who cared more about virtue and truth first and foremost in how they led. How can we do this in a miniature way in our own lives?

Emma: I have spoken to a few in Manhattan and they seem to reject conventional life – do not want to be controlled.

Lydia: When we were in college studying philosophy my sister and I used to say that the people who understood philosophy were approaching divine. What we meant was that people who understood that philosophy would also understand that it was a search for truth and would know that truth is what God knows and in the world is discoverable as natural law.

Denise: I recall some homeless who found safety, stability and comfort in their homelessness…. these were people who lived in the woods.

Emma: Truth is so hard for people to hear these days. They want to make their own truth based on their feelings. When our leaders cannot and will not state a Truth (abortion is murder!) who are we to follow? Christ.

Visitation Sister: He is Truth!

Lydia: When St. Francis College took federal money, they were not allowed to require 3 religion classes, so they required 3 philosophy courses instead. It turned out to be all about how many Saints like St. Thomas Aquinas worked out all he knew about God.

Denise: Thank you!

Julie: Proverbs 30:7-9: Two things I ask of you, LORD; do not refuse me before I die: Keep falsehood and lies far from me; give me neither poverty nor riches, but give me only my daily bread. Otherwise, I may have too much and disown you and say, ‘Who is the LORD?’ Or I may become poor and steal, and so dishonor the name of my God.

Emma: Knowing yourself – REALLY knowing yourself – and seeing how much you can deceive yourself is important. What we want can blind us.

Visitation Sister: Thanks for Proverbs.

Lydia: Even Plato and Aristotle, who were pagans, saw things that were true and were the beginning of things later philosophers used to understand God.

Lydia: …. caveat…to the degree anyone can understand God.

Visitation Sister: Virtue is something St Francis emphasized- the little virtues.

Emma: I have heard the argument why Catholics rely on Pagan philosophers – I was not sure how to respond.

Emma: They were great minds and blazed a trail I suppose – to Truth.

Lydia: St. Augustine and St. Thomas Aquinas were very Aristotelian.

Rebecca: Warm greetings to all of you. I’ve just been following along. A special greeting to Emma — new to me here, I think. Welcome. Good questions.

Julie: Hi Rebecca.

Emma: The little virtues – like the joke “how do you get to Carnegie Hall?” — “practice, practice, practice.”

Denise: Have patience with all things, but first of all with yourself. Never be in a hurry; do everything quietly and in a calm spirit. Do not lose your inner peace for anything whatsoever, even if your whole world seems upset. -ST. FRANCIS DE SALES, VISITATION ORDER CO-FOUNDER.

Lydia: It is easy to think when I am driving, because I can’t do anything, so I find myself thinking while I drive. One day many years ago, when I was driving, I was wondering what would make me most happy and the thought came to me right away that I would want God to be happy with me.

Julie: God is the source of all virtues.

Denise: Lydia…. yes, nicely expressed.

Rebecca: Maybe that is why I feel I cannot please a “boss” professionally, even though I think I please God, the patients and other staff members. The boss wants “productivity” — meaning patient “processing” fast. The patients want real understanding when trying to tell their troubles to the doctor, etc.

Emma: Oh! I need that calm spirit. The smallest things can rattle my inner peace. There have been times when I could virtually “see” the demon on my shoulder whispering in my ear and I have to “virtually” kick him out of my room!

Lydia: Emma, wear a scapular.

Rebecca: Oh, Emma. You are blessed to recognize the demon for who he is and kick him out.

Focused on Love of God and Others

Visitation Sister: 3. Similarly, how can we ensure the end of our actions are focused on love of God and others, and not love of ourselves?

Rebecca: He can come in so many disguises, even use Scripture verses to try to fool the saints into dishonoring God.

Emma: I have been wearing my scapular for many years now! and Miraculous medal! Like St. John Vianney – I feel like I’ve come to recognize these vicious attempts! I had a small panic attack once right before going into the confessional and thought “I can’t go in there and tell him”….but the odd thing was that I had spoken to the priest for a long time before – so he already knew what I was going to say. So, my panic attack did not make sense. and when I thought it could be the evil one trying to keep me from absolution. I pulled myself together and said: Well, if that’s the best the devil can do to stop me – it’s pretty lame.”

Denise: I think I would ask myself this question often, not that I would reach a point where I would not need to discern my motives.

Rebecca: So important to focus on love of God and others, but right love of ourselves, it seems to me, IS of God. If God loves us, and He does, shouldn’t we also love ourselves?

Rebecca: Praise the Lord, Emma, for that grace.

Lydia: Being close to the Blessed Mother, it is much harder for the devil to fool you.

Emma: Have you ever participated in a Consecration to Jesus through Mary – 33-day thing. St. Louis deMontfort is wonderful.

Visitation Sister: yes.

Denise: All this trying leads up to the vital moment, at which you turn to God and say: You must do this. I can’t.

Rebecca: Yes, Lydia, indeed. But I found it interesting that one of the sins that St. Francis de Sales mentions in this chapter is loving the Mother of God more than God. As if the two were in opposition to one another. I think I know what he means — distortions, perhaps worshiping Mary instead of worshiping God. But surely being close to Mary is a way of being close to her Son.

Visitation Sister: Definitely, grace comes thru Mary.

Lydia: Proper love of Blessed Mother leads us to Jesus.

Lydia: Denise, that reminds me of the book…Trustful Surrender to Divine Providence: The Secret of Peace and Happiness by Jean Baptiste de Saint Jure.

Emma: My priest always answers this worry about “worshiping” Mary too much with “you can never love Mary enough and all love for Mary is directed ultimately to her son, Jesus Christ.”

Denise: Thanks, Lydia.

Lydia: Loving our Mother does not stop us from loving our Brother.

Emma: It pleases Our Lord when we love His Mother – Our Mother.

Lydia: Jesus gave us His Mother on the cross.

Emma: Yes!

Denise: She helps us know how to suffer.

Julie: Our Blessed Mother always points us to Jesus.

Denise: As though one can stand at the foot of cross with her.

Rebecca: Denise, I think I understand. But I have trouble with the words addressed to God: “You must . . .” We cannot tell God what God must do; he knows better than we do. But there are, indeed, concerns of ours that, since they are way beyond our abilities to influence, we must turn over to God. I think that is what you mean: Complete surrender to God. But not only in this or that instance, but all that we are, all that we have, all that we care about.

Denise: I see what you mean, not giving a direct order, but as he knows our hearts talking with him is so much easier. I took it as a surrendering to God, laying it all down at foot of the cross for him.

Visitation Sister: What about pleasing God? or His Mother?

Visitation Sister: That is a deep motivation for many saints and so for us.

Lydia: They seem to be the same thing.

Emma: It is the final test of your thoughts and actions as holy: Am I being pleasing to God?

Lydia: Sr. Margaret Mary told us that it is our intentions that matter most.

Emma: If someone insults you or you get impatient with them – you MUST respond in a manner that is pleasing to God.

Julie: There’s no conflict there, our Blessed Mother is always well pleased when we are pleasing to God.

Denise: I can have a deep desire to please God, but it does not mean that I am. What may please him is my desire to do so.

Julie: Yes, Emma.

Sin as Disorder

Rebecca: St. Francis de Sales’ definition of sin as disorder in priorities helps a lot to recognize sin in our own lives even as we strive, consciously, to please God in all things. Somehow, we — I anyway — always seem to have multiple layers of motivations.

Denise: yes, thank you Rebecca.

Visitation Sister: I think we all do-even in vocational discernment.

Visitation Sister: But God uses all to help us or lead us to where He wants us.

Emma: Yes, our desire to please Him fights against our self-will – which can very effectively convince us that what we want – what will make us happy MUST be what God wants.

Emma: Self-awareness.

Denise: Yes.

Julie: A lot of prayers and spending time with God helps us to understand God’s will for us.

Emma: Multiple layers of motivation can be a struggle for me, and I have to really get down the root and tease out “why EXACTLY do you want to do that”.

Rebecca: One thing that I find very consoling about St Francis de Sales’ definition or description of holiness is the emphasis on INTENTION — so different from the ordinary saying “The road to hell is paved with good intentions.” What I see in this is that.

Lydia: Intention reveals what is in your heart.

Julie: Yes, Mother, God uses all to help us and to lead us to where He wants us.

Emma: That phrase refers to how people can lie to themselves that what THEY want to do is right and good – they convince themselves that it is God’s will for them.

Denise: He does. Sometimes most unlikely people or situations.

Julie: One day, I visited the Poor Clares, and a sister gave me the message from God.

Denise: Rebecca, are you still online? Come back...and, Julie, what was the message?

Emma: Yes – I have experienced instances where God used people to shine a light on things for me.

Lydia: 4. Why must we, as St Francis states, “please God”? If God is sufficient and content in himself, why this need?

Denise: So we can reach perfect union with him?

Lydia: God does not need us to please Him. He loves us as His children, so He wants us to be like Him and that pleases Him.

Emma: I was fretting and complaining about financial worries and asked someone to pray for me – so she turned to the group and said let’s pray for Emma – and then said “Lord, help Emma get back to work to help her husband in their financial distress”….it hit me like a brick! I did not want to go back to work! It was a pull-yourself-together-Missy moment. I got a job.

Rebecca: Even if we are at some point in our lives no longer ABLE to think or pray or form an intention, by forming good intentions NOW while we can — not just good, but the BEST, that is, to PLEASE GOD in all things — our sufferings or diminishment of our faculties — accepted as a way or part of surrender to the Divine Will — permissive Will of God — can be a way of giving him glory!

Julie: The message is “Now, hurry, don’t delay”.

Denise: This is beautiful, Rebecca. And insightful.

Visitation Sister: The daily direction of intention in the morning is what Visitandines do. And our schoolchildren.

Emma: Julie – yes!! like those type of wake-up-right-now moments.

Lydia: Yes, we were told to make everything a prayer to God.

Julie: School children do that as well?

Visitation Sister: Yes.

My God, I give you this day.
I offer you, now,
all of the good that I shall do
and I promise to accept,
for love of you,
all of the difficulty that I shall meet.

Help me to conduct myself
during this day
in a manner pleasing to you.
Amen.

Emma: Perfect.

Visitation Sister: At least they used to do it. I should check!

Denise: I am copying. Thank you!

Julie: Thank you, Mother. I am copying as well.

Visitation Sister: You are welcome.

Rebecca: Beautiful, simple prayer.

Emma: Good Night, all. Thank you for the time and insights.

Lydia: God deserves to be put first. If we realize who He is, we will do this. If we know Him, we will put Him first. God loves us and wants us to be with Him forever.

Lydia: In his homily for the solemnity of the Assumption in 2012, Pope Benedict said: “One thing, one hope is certain: God expects us, waits for us; we do not go out into a void, we are expected. God is expecting us, and ongoing to that other world, we find the goodness of the Mother, we find our loved ones, we find eternal Love. God is waiting for us: this is our great joy and the great hope.”

Visitation Sister: Beautiful, Lydia.

Lydia: It is wonderful.

Emma: Beautiful! Yes – like the prodigal son’s father – he waits for us and runs to us when we turn back to him.

Visitation Sister: The hour goes quickly! May each of you be blessed this week!

Denise: Grateful to be a part of this chat. Thank you all. Goodnight, everyone.

Julie: Yes, blessings to all of you.

Lydia: God be praised!

Denise: Lydia, copying this also. Thank you.

Denise: Amen.

Emma: Thank you. May God Bless you all and may the Souls of the Faithful departed rest in peace.

Denise: Amen.

Denise: Nice to meet you, Emma. Have a good retreat!

Rebecca: Thank you, each of you. And have a blessed week in which we each discover ways of pleasing God more completely, more perfectly recognizing his will and DOING all we can to live it.

Denise: Thank you, Rebecca! Amen.

Denise: Goodnight.

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