Leading up to the new year, I have a practice of looking through my journals and reflecting on the last year. Where did I see God? What was I most thankful for? Where do I need to grow?
As I flipped through the pages of my entries over the last year, I found a God who relentlessly pursued me every day without fail.
Through it all -- peaceful times, joyful times, turbulent times, uncertain times, and times of falling away -- God was intensely coaxing me back into His arms.
He was relentlessly pursuing me and He didn’t stop.
He relentlessly pursued me to love Him. He relentlessly pursued me to let go of my sins. He relentlessly pursued me to do more as a disciple. He relentlessly pursued me to say yes to his will. He relentlessly pursued me to embrace those around me. He relentlessly pursued me to find comfort in Him in times of despair.
He poured grace down constantly to keep me afloat in my faith. He poured mercy down for every sin I committed. He poured love down to fill my empty spaces.
Perhaps God has always been relentlessly pursuing me. But this year, I noticed the intensity with which he did it. When I ran away in my mind and heart, He ran towards me every time with a verse, a song, a touch, a word, a person, a thought, an inspiration, or the countless other ways He spoke.
It happened over and over and over again, so much so, I found myself to be this stubborn child who just needs to finally embrace that she has a God who will never stop relentlessly pursuing her, never stop asking for her wholehearted love, never stop trying to free her from bondage, and never stop coaxing her to surrender.
It’s time to realize that He’s claimed me now and forever, and He’s not going to let go. So maybe it's time for me to let go of everything that I pursue that gets in the way of my union with Him.