You're Not Forgotten

There’s a song by Lauren Daigle that has the line “There’s never been a moment you were forgotten” that keeps coming to my mind lately.

I’m going on 35 years old, am unmarried, and have no children. Many young women around me have young families, and my cousins have started having children. Each time there's a pregnancy announcement or a baby in my midst, my heart starts to hurt.

It’s easy to fall into the belief that I am forgotten when I see the joy and fulfillment they have as mothers. When they are snuggling their babies, loving their families, and seeing God’s blessings come alive in their life and I’m alone with diminishing hope of ever having that. With each passing year, it only gets worse. I get this distinct feeling inside that I have failed in some way to not have what they have. 

Have you forgotten about me, God? I wonder.

I can remember a night where I felt utterly and awfully barren laying in bed, and I realized that a woman’s womb is not meant to be barren and empty. It’s meant to give life. So when there’s a desire to do just that and it goes unfilled, you’re left with tears and empty spaces inside, wondering how and why you are not blessed by God in this way. Your identity as a woman is shaky, because your identity is often wrapped up in being a mother and nurturing life.

Barrenness is painful. Many women in the Bible give testament to that. Sarah. Hannah. Rachel. All desired children. All were pained from barrenness. All received children...eventually...and in mysterious, miraculous ways that were part of God’s story.

I can only hope that I too will not be forgotten and that I too will become one of these blessed women with her own miracle story that gives glory to God.

Let's pray for all the barren women today. The ones with empty wombs. The ones whose identities are shaky, who don't understand God's dream for them, and who desire with all their hearts to mother children. Let's pray that God gives these women miracles of life and shows them His love.