What Catholic Families Stand to Gain This Lent

As Catholics, we are sometimes accused by other Christians of just "going through the motions." In regard to Lent, we may be charged with having the following mindset: get ashes, give up chocolate, coffee, or gossiping for 40 days (more or less), go to Mass on Easter and, voilà, we are done with Lent. That may be true for some, but Catholics who desire a deeper relationship with God strive for more...and we seek to help our children do the same.

One of the neat things about Lent is that it is meant to "recalibrate our sensors." (Yes, I have been watching old Star Trek episodes lately.) Even when our bad habits aren't serious, they may become obstacles, threatening our friendship with God and preventing us from maintaining relationships with other people. Lent helps us step back and evaluate our lives and make adjustments.

This Lent, let's ask ourselves and God what we can do, as individuals and as a family, to observe Lent well. If we give up something that has become unhealthy for family life, such as too much screen time, too much running around, too much negative humor, etc., and replace it with something that will build up the family and each individual in it, we will find much more than we lose!

So what are the habits that our family struggles with? Which behaviors regularly act as barriers to a relationship with God and others? Identifying those troublesome areas is the key to making a meaningful Lenten "recalibration."

Where to start in helping your family get the most out of Lent this year:

• Have a family meeting and talk about why we were created by God—it wasn't to play as many video games as possible—and the purpose of Lent. Discuss the awesome, irreplaceable role God wants your family to play in bringing the light of Christ to a hurting world, and how easy it is to misspend our time when there are so many distractions. Discuss together what those distractions are for the individuals in your family.
• As an adult, come to the meeting with a plan for a basic family "recalibration" already in place. It is best to allow your children some input, but remember that children can have trouble seeing the big picture, and the family needs a leader (appointed by God!) to direct the group. Dad's example and leadership is particularly effective in this area. As parents, we should always be able to implement what we think is best for our families even when our children might have different opinions.
• At your family meeting, get specific.  Make a plan to attend Stations of the Cross every Friday night or to get together weekly with another like-minded family to pray the rosary or read through one of the Gospels. Plan to watch a meaningful movie together and discuss it. Set up an ongoing household project such as a puzzle depicting a beautiful piece of religious artwork to be completed by the end of Lent. Or brainstorm ways to do something for the poor, lonely, or marginalized. Keep it manageable and focused on prayer and relationship with others.
• Children can also be encouraged during your family meeting to decide what their own private sacrifices will be. Admit to your children that you, too, do not always spend your time wisely. Let them see your willingness to spend more time nurturing your relationship with God and them.

The time consuming habits and "go-to" behaviors we engage in can so easily keep us from living our lives well. Thankfully, Lent helps us pay attention and get back on track. When we identify something that becomes a barrier to our relationship with God, we have to ask ourselves if we really want God's best for our lives and the lives of our children...or not.

It is an act of faith to make any kind of positive change. How pleasing it must be to our Heavenly Father when we show him, by our willingness to make sacrifices, that we trust the promises of Jesus who wants to give us so much more than a we could ask for or imagine (see Ephesians 3:20).