I Don't Know How To Pray Anymore

"I don't know how to pray any more," she cried, "I've tried everything. I've said the Lord's Prayer, I've repeated 'Thy Will Be Done' many times, recited the Rosary umpteen times, lit candles, I have even promised to give more to charity and visit people in hospitals and elderly homes. The situation is too bad and I'm afraid!"

She then burst out crying uncontrollably.

I did not know what to do. When someone is in such an emotional state of mind the last thing they want to hear is pieties and platitudes. I was certainly not going to preach to her or say God loves you. I got up to the kitchen and got her a glass of water.

"Here, sip this slowly," I said, "now take one or two deep breaths and hold it for a while".

A few moments later she calmed down a little as she wiped her eyes in her handkerchief. She looked awful as her make-up had diluted in her tears and ran down her face. She'd certainly frighten a ghost with that face, I thought.

"Well," I hesitated, "at least you're still praying. It shows that you believe Someone is listening and that you're not talking to the wall!"

She smiled with a snort.

"You know," I continued hesitantly, "you cannot bargain with God. He is not interested in Rosaries or candles or promises to be good in future."

She didn't react, but appeared to be listening. So I went on.

"There is nothing we can do to repay what God did for us. He paid the price when He offered His Son as a sacrifice for us. We can thank Him time and again, but we cannot repay the debt we owe Him. And neither does He ask for it or expect it. He redeemed us and that's that. It's like you giving someone a gift and not expecting another gift of equal value or more in return. Thanks by the way for the crappy gift you gave me for my birthday!"

She laughed. At least I was making some progress. So I tried a bit more.

"You said you're afraid. That's an acceptable emotion under the circumstances. We're all afraid of something at one time or other. We pray and it seems God is not responding, or our prayers have no effect. Why not try something else?"

She raised her eyebrows and brushed her hair from her face.

"Why not tell God how you feel? Speak to Him as if you're speaking to a friend. Jesus said, 'I do not call you servants ... I call you friends, because I have told you everything I heard from my Father.' (John 15:15).

"Tell God that you're afraid about the situation at present. Just as you told me. Tell Him you don't know what is happening and what will happen. Tell Him you're afraid of the future.

"Remember, He has seen the future and will be with you there as He is with you right now. He brought you to this situation and He will see you through it.

"You're in this situation for reasons best known to God. Perhaps He is trying to teach you about yourself. Or to teach and strengthen you in how to grow your faith and trust in Him. Just like an athlete. He does not get stronger unless he exercises and gets strong. Or perhaps God is using the way you react to this situation as an example for others to follow.

"Often, how we react to traumas and difficulties is an example for others to copy and be inspired by us. What an honour for you if your behaviour turns others to follow Jesus!

"Don't be afraid. God will not put you in a situation beyond your power to resist and survive. He is not in the business of losing His followers."

She smiled weakly. I did not know whether I was saying these things for her benefit or I was just trying to convince myself. I knew I was a poor example for others and how my faith weakens at the merest problem. What a hypocrite!

"Oh ... and another thing," I said, "why not praise God for this situation?"

She looked up, her face a total confusion.

"You're not praising Him FOR the situation," I said, "but you're praising Him for still being in control of the situation. He is always in control of events. And when we praise Him we are in effect acknowledging His power and control over the situation. And often, our very act of praising Him seems to turn a bad situation for the good. Our good, or that of others. Often, we don't know how what we've been through has helped someone else. But it happens. And what a privilege for you to have been a channel through which God's Word has spread a little further.

"Now smile to show God that you trust Him really, and you know He's by your side ready to help."

She smiled. I thanked God silently for giving me the words to say. Perhaps I should replay them in my mind as a reminder that they apply to me too.