I'm nothing... I'm so very nothing without...

Him.

Just as Lent approached, I had a proverbial smack in the face from a friend about my lack of friendship. I asked, "Who am I?"

On Fat Tuesday, my husband and I, realizing a lack of empathy in our marriage, both sighed, "Who are we? We need Lent."

A week or so into Lent, with great charity and mercy, my Spiritual Director challenged me to drastically change the way I approach relationships. The Holy Spirit gave him the sort of words that cut to the core of my soul, giving me nothing but a desire to listen to his words and a burning desire to change. I admitted as I do now, the way I've been approaching conversations with friends is so deep. I asked, "Who am I?" At this point, I didn't feel empty, I felt determined.

So a few days later, I posted a very frivolous frustration on my mom's group site, to which our pastor is privy. Two minutes later, he called me out on my pride with a large amount of mercy and solidarity in the pride battle. Background knowledge, I have great respect and love for my pastor, and my children adore him. "Pride is the Queen of the deadly sins," he said, along with an encouraging challenge. Who am I?" I felt empty. "When most of us are called out, especially publicly, there's a knee jerk reaction to deny, a burning tear rolls down my cheek, the human tug that is so attached to my pride.

I felt so very empty. I asked again, "Who am I?" But I know, I know so very well the answer to my question, "I am nothing, I am so very nothing without Him." All these things, my friendships, my words, my presence or absence, my failings or victories, my personality, my life, they are nothing without Love, I am nothing without Love, and Love comes from Him. They are not mine, they are His, all Glory to Him forever. I only hope I can empty myself out and be filled by His Love in this Lenten journey.