While Lent with coronavirus for many has been a complete tragedy of suffering, for me, it has been more of an awakening of how I want my life post-resurrection to look like.
Lent with coronavirus showed me a number of things: That I’m too busy. That I overcommit. That I was absolutely exhausted from frenetic activity. That I’m too rigid with everything - the exercise I do, my daily rituals, the food I eat, and so much more. That balance and doing less makes me happier and more rested to do everything I do better. That it’s daily prayer that truly sustains me when everything else is “taken away” religiously. That I have so many hobbies that bring out my creativity and other aspects of myself that I had forgotten, and that these too can glorify God. That nature is a gift that can still you each day.
It made me more balanced and well rounded, and cling more to prayer.
Lent with coronavirus illuminated my blessings: The job I have contributing to others’ welfare - never have I felt such a strong sense of purpose and fulfillment as I did during this time. The company I worked for that is socially responsible and cares about people -- and indeed confirmed I am in the right place. The volunteer things I do that light me up inside. The resources, talents, and graces God gives me in such a time to gift to others. That sometimes God calls you to be radically generous with your gifts even when you’re feeling shaky and uncertain about your own resources. The roots of faith that helped me trust in uncertainty. The isolation I previously could not handle in years past which now has become a pleasant solitude that I’m at peace with. The relationships I have that support me in tougher times.
I became much more grateful during this time, and saw more clearly how God was gifting and using me -- right where I am.
In the additional time of silence and stillness, I also came to a greater peace of God’s will - my desires, what excites me, what I dream for, and that I’m right where I should be. I realized during this time that God’s will unfolds gradually - moment by moment, opportunity after opportunity. I no longer feel like I’m in massive confusion and lost. This was especially evident after a perfect volunteer opportunity surfaced, that I had been looking for over the course of many months, creates “a step” to my future dream. I also made tremendous progress moving away from a few sins that ruled my life and gave me much despair, with the help and grace of the Lord.
My life post-resurrection, I think, will look different. I think it will be more balanced, more restful, more grateful, more content, more peaceful, and more assured -- that God is always blessing me, transforming me, and working all things for my good. This year, the image of Jesus eating breakfast with His disciples comes to mind. I think that’s how my life will look too...suffering past, resurrection done, sunshine pouring down, at ease, invited to His table, and enjoying the presence of Jesus and companion disciples in all its simplicity.
May your’s look like that too!