For those who have already experienced the WORST--and you are still struggling with the PTS-- please, allow God now to walk with you into the past.
You need His help as you go forward in your life! Hopefully you are already getting counseling and are on the path to be healed and set free of emotional control of that wounded spirit and heart within. God can and does offer more than a professional can offer. So in choosing a counselor, look for one who is strong in their love of God.
You want the Holy Spirit in your Healing process. God is ever so gentle, and will only allow one layer at a time to be revisited. He knows also which layer needs to be revisited first before others are touched on. As He promised--we are not to be overwhelmed or given too much to carry for the luggage will be too heavy for a wounded inner child.
I am sure, by now, you are tired of living with that pain from the past. I hope you would want, more than ever, to be free of it. How abandoned you must feel. You still may be very ANGRY at God for what has happened. You may also be very angry at yourself, for you may have seen actions that allowed this trauma to enter your life. (Even a child may feel guilty thinking that they deserved to be punished). It is crucial for the sake of being able to live and love again---that you are willing to allow God to take you 'there' and be healed of any trauma.
Steps to enter into the healing process: Journaling. If you are not already doing this, please start a journal on Healing the Past. Then the next time that restless behavior comes, or sadness ---any anger unexplained---go DRAW AWAY and PRAY. Be still and KNOW--let God reveal the root of why.
To write of what is hidden, and you don't know what to write---WRITE using your non-dominant hand. For me that is my left hand. This makes you write slowly and reminds you soon--that it is like a child writing. The thoughts come slowly and as you realize frustration and weakness, then the memories start to flow.
Give Our Lord permission to lead you on right paths through the this Valley of Death/Darkness/and Trauma.
Opening doors, Healing the Hurts, and Setting them Free.
Step 2---TELL IT LIKE IT IS!
There is something very therapeutic about speaking out, writing out and just venting out what is inside. Like a volcano building up, unless our steam is released--like OLD FAITHFUL---at one point, WE BLOW UP!!
Who is the person that has wounded you the most in a one time incident? Who is the person who wounds you on a daily basis? Who was a person in the past, a person of authority---made you feel deeply like you are useless and dumb? Start making a list of names that come to mind---and slowly over the days and months even--go and visit with them. BUT only---ON PAPER, or in an imaginary way, like speaking to a tree or even a STUFFED ANIMAL. (None of these will repeat a word you say.) When it comes to getting things off your chest---you can do so, also, by just talking to Jesus, or Mary or that Guardian Angel. GOD can take whatever ANGER we want to throw His way.
I remember one week in my Inner Healing classes, restlessness, anxiety and strong emotions came over me---and I started to just talk to the feelings, saying, "Okay, who are you and where did you come from?" At once Anger at God rose up. I screamed at Him, cried and carried on until my chest hurt. Going outside, I started to repeat over and over again--"Jesus, Mary and Joseph-pray for us." Over and over I prayed and cried-- and looked up at the star studded night sky, then in an instant--anger disappeared and was gone!! My reaction? I laughed and said, "Hey, I am not being mad at You yet!" Then joy entered in. Trust me, God can handled what ever we want to send His way.
If you choose to write how you feel in a letter--do so and let the person be told everything you want to say to them. What you do with it then--is up to you. I suggest burning it as a ritualistic prayer--a way of offering up to God your pain. This would be the most therapeutic act in the healing process.
However or what ever is best for you to vent or release your pain---do so HAND IN HAND with the Holy Spirt as your guide.
To Heal our marriage, counseling was needed. I thought only my husband needed help with his anger---and was shocked to hear "you need to come too."
WHAT ME? Nothing wrong with me!!
Having said that, let us look at the next step in your healing process. Are you facing DENIAL or denying that you need help or denying that anything is wrong within. "Who me? I AM FINE thank you!! I'm FINE!!! There are signs or symptoms you are denying buried pain. Compulsive behavior or addictions. Hoarding or letting go of 'treasures/stuff.' Anxiety in crowds or being in a closed place---the list can be long. For those suffering from post trauma syndrome--you know already, don't you?"
To be continued. Why People Do What They Do!