Step 4 on this Journey of Walking into Wellness.
In year 25 of our marriage---God led me to WANT to be divorced. Yes that is right ---God led me in the direction to NOT stay in our marriage as it was. (Read the book---"My Journey My Cross" for the details.)
His Words received, after much prayer and others praying for me---"Do not stay in this marriage as it is, be open and honest with your husband ---and walk into wellness!"
Those same words are what you need to apply to your life. Do not stay in the misery you are in. Be OPEN AND HONEST with yourself, and walk into wellness with God at your side.
Now, to save the marriage, we were led to counseling and then led to a perfect Christian counselor. If you are not getting counseling ---pray for God to lead you to the right one for you to start getting the professional help many need to get past traumatic events.
Be open and honest. The word, DENIAL was mentioned, that is a great obstacle to healing---yes, DENIAL. The one way to get well is to be honest and admit---I HAVE SOME behaviors or attitudes that STINK TOO!
What is the best way to see what is wrong with you? Make a list of all the things other people do that infuriate, aggravate, or anger you. You read right. This works, I know for that is what God said to do as I dealt with MOTHER-IN-LAW issues! God sneakily got me to realize my faults by having me list my mother-in-laws actions that made me so mad. He said to confess them as my sins, bring them to His Cross and seek forgiveness. After listing about 10 or 12 behaviors, I realized ---"OH MY GOD --they are my sins --my behaviors!!'
Strange as it seems---what we see or hate in others --we can find in our own selves. We are all human. We all have the same emotions, and we all have free will to choose how we act or respond to other's behaviors. We all have fallen short, and all have become very angry and hateful at times.
So proceed then, draw away, and write down the list of ALL the things people do that make you mad!! Then ask God to show you why or how those behaviors trigger within you deep anger or resentment. He will be gentle and lead to you a memory of being traumatized that you have buried deeply. Keep on writing what comes, and use the weaker hand to really see the truth that needs to be seen. For, dearly beloved child of God--
"WITH KNOWLEDGE COMES UNDERSTANDING. WITH UNDERSTANDING COMES WISDOM, AND PEACE."
From St. Pope John Paul's Spiritual Advice book--for this day--May 26th: "The meeting with Jesus is...the event which gives meaning to human life and profoundly alters it, by opening the spirit to horizons of authentic FREEDOM."
Our Lord waits for you with His healing graces to lead you on right paths as you walk through dark valleys into Wellness. "Come unto Me, you who are heavily burdened and I will give you rest."
Final chapter coming soon.