Final steps to Healing the Hurts of our life.
How is your journaling journey to Healing proceeding? As you write, as any emotion comes up, do you find the source and how that event left you deeply hurt and angry? Who is behind that anger? Now here comes the hardest part of all. "Do you want to be well? What are you willing to do to be well?"
The crippled man at the pool of Bethsaida gave EXCUSES of why he was still crippled. Who of you, ARE you using excuses? Blaming others for why you are still emotionally crippled? OR--are you NOT wanting to give up your anger, thinking at least I have 'control over that part of the event.' I have the 'right to be angry!!!' So, as the saying goes---HOW IS THAT WORKING FOR YOU? Is that anger bringing you vindication? Changing the facts that you were hurt?
Here is what God asks us to do. "Forgive 7 times 70."
"WHAT!! I can never forgive what that person did!! Or, I can never forget what I experienced or did myself!"
I said this was going to be HARD! But only if we still let 'resistance' control our life, and try to walk the walk alone. Deep breath, and ask for God's help.
Here is how you can forgive, if you want to be well. and if you want to be set free of the anger and the pain. With UNDERSTANDING.
Each baby born comes into the world--stained already by good and bad 'emotions'. Some more than others come with very strong negative emotions. See that person who hurt you so terriblily, see them first as a baby, weak, innocent, and setting out on their life's journey. See them as a toddler growing up in a hate filled world. We do not know what another's life was like, do we?
Only GOD knows each person's personal life's story. That is why only God can be the judge of each person. That is why Jesus was able to say on the Cross-"Father forgive them for they do not know what they do."
You are still on your cross. "Take up your cross and follow Me," or live by My example, My way. What sacrifice are you willing to give to God, what gift of love do you want to give to Him?
Can you say--"Father I forgive them, for they did not know WHY they were doing what they did."
Like I said --this is the hardest part of being set free of your pain. Forgive them, yourself, and God. You do not have to face the person in person---but just choose to forgive and release them in your heart. Start praying for them too.
Because Maria Goretti forgave, her attacker sought forgiveness from God and came to give his life to our Lord. Because St. Stephen forgave--St. Paul was one of the greatest of God's followers and gave us many words to live by. Forgiveness not only sets you free, but unbinds those who are tied to their own painful past. Remember how we were told by Our Lord to pray: "Forgive us our sins, as we forgive those who have sinned against us."
There is another TRUTH that is even harder to accept if you want to walk into wellness and be set free of your crippled state of life.
Words from JOB Chapter 36 v 15 "But He saves the afflicted through their affliction, and opens their ears through oppression."
What?? This concept may seem crazy thinking or strange---however--sometimes the only way we can learn and be saved from our own human behavior is to be allowed to go down wrong paths. In other words--'fire' means nothing--until we feel the burn.
Another example confirming this TRUTH.
At Mass today, as the priest began to Consecrate the Host, I heard this too.
"At the time he was betrayed and entered willingly into his Passion, He took bread and, giving thanks, broke it, and gave it to his disciples, saying: TAKE THIS ALL OF YOU AND EAT OF IT FOR THIS IS MY BODY WHICH WILL BE GIVEN UP FOR YOU."
Remember too, Jesus speaking to two Apostles---"You don't know what you are asking," Jesus said to them. "Can you drink the cup I am going to drink?" "We can," they answered." And you will Jesus told them. Matthew 20 v 22
I remember those words, as I heard the first words quoted by the priest. --"At the time he was betrayed and entered willingly into his Passion: " and wondered - are we being asked "to willingly enter into our passion?
When we are betrayed by life, betrayed by others and especially betrayed by those we love and trust--can we willingly take and eat or drink? Do we realize that we, or our lives: these experiences are the bread and the wine that can be offered up daily? Yes, daily, through our sufferings --this is how, we too are changed into the Body of Jesus that is given up for the sake of others.
This made perfect sense to me, as it is only in our sufferings in life, our traumas--that we are able to be 'Christ' to others. Loving like Jesus-- in compassion, understanding, and yes even in merciful forgiveness--"for they do not know what they do." All who are hurtful are first terribly hurt--betrayed by life and others who did not show them love.
Then there are the victims of violent events. They are waiting for help, others whose lives have been traumatized just like you! They need you to be the one who comes with understanding and the wisdom received by your own 'story' that now becomes the gift or the "Bread of Life to them." You bring them hope, encouragement and are able to lead them to the Light of Christ. You are able to help Jesus give them new birth and live with Him.
The most comforting words we can say to anyone, is ---"I know how you feel."
God is asking you at this time. "Child can you forgive me for the events that were allowed to create you into the vessel that only you can be to help another?"
Your healing, your deliverance from your crippled emotional state, comes first with understanding and then forgiving. Forgiveness is the key that opens the door to set you free to live again. You can not do this on your own though. Only by the grace of God, given by Jesus within you: are you able to do ALL things IMPOSSIBLE. Ask Jesus to help you to Forgive as you are forgiven or WANT to be forgiven. He will ---God always does as He promises.
"Welcome home, dear beloved of God. Welcome back to new life as you enter into the 'Beautiful Gate' and find HEALING of your wounded heart."
Acts chapter 3 v 2
* Now Peter and John were going up to the temple area for the three o’clock hour of prayer.* 2 And a man crippled from birth was carried and placed at the gate of the temple called “the Beautiful Gate” every day to beg for alms from the people who entered the temple. 3 When he saw Peter and John about to go into the temple, he asked for alms. 4 But Peter looked intently at him, as did John, and said, “Look at us.” 5 He paid attention to them, expecting to receive something from them. 6 * Peter said, “I have neither silver nor gold, but what I do have I give you: in the name of Jesus Christ the Nazorean, [rise and] walk.” 7 Then Peter took him by the right hand and raised him up, and immediately his feet and ankles grew strong.
God needs you to be well. We need you to be well.