8 Thoughts on Motivation and Mass Attendance
As a parent raising teenagers, I wanted to read Failing Forward: Leadership Lessons for Catholic Teens Today by Alan Migliorato and Darryl Dziedzic for two reasons: first, to see if I was doing anything right, and second, because the title Failing Forward reminded me of something my spouse once said about schools: “we assume failure is bad, but that's how we learn the best, by failing.”
Because I have taught school at the elementary level I noticed most parents are very good cheerleaders for our kids, but to allow them to fail is much harder.
I found the book easy to read, and entertaining. It has antidotes that illustrate how teens learn to become independent. The method explored in the book is called COPEC: Challenge, Observe, Process, Evaluate, and Challenge Again, and the chapters of the book explain how parents can use this method to help their teens learn from failures and take responsibility for themselves and succeed.
The authors describe how Jesus gave general instructions as his disciples set out to spread His gospel, but allowed them freedom to figure out how they would achieve His commandment.
The book contains a lot of wisdom, and by chance I recently followed the advice when my teenage son decided he wanted to cook dinner one night when I complained that I was tired. The result was a happy occurrence as my son took on the challenge with gusto and made a great meal without any direction from me. But I have to confess it may very well be that my son had been watching Gordon Ramsay a lot and learned from the pro. Until I let go of my control of dinner, I never knew what my child was capable of doing on his own. If he failed, I'm sure the results would not have been worse than my own failures when I learned to cook.
The hardest part of reading this book is how it makes me evaluate my own shortcomings as a parent, but without failing, how would parents become better parents themselves?
The book addresses ways to help teens become independent, capable young adults. It reminds parents that God allows us to be in charge and make our own decisions, so therefore we should parent our teens in the same way. The chapter about how to help my teen become a leader, the 'process' step, is the most insightful, and most challenging. It is the process step in the method that helps teens in the sacrament of Reconciliation. The last chapter discusses what an evaluation should look like for the teens and parents.
I like the inclusion of Bible stories in the chapters, which differentiates this book from other self-help books. The personal examples allow me to visualize how this method works.
I recommend Failing Forward by Alan Migliorato and Darryl Dziedzic to parents and grandparents of teens and even preteens. It's never too early to mentally prepare for life with a teen. This how-to manual is a good choice for those who want to raise can-do kids.
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Links for Failing Forward: