Thanks, COVID: Sad Christmas Carols for 2020

Christmas is just around the corner. For the first time in approximately two-thousand and twenty years, people are being strongly encouraged by government officials not to travel over the holidays to spend time with loved ones. But in the past, things were much different. For example, way back at the very first Christmas, Joseph and Mary were actually ORDERED by government officials to travel to Bethlehem during the Christmas holiday. (Well, the reason for their travel wasn’t exactly because of Christmas, since Jesus hadn’t been born yet, and if the local governor went on TV and said, “Everyone must travel over the Christmas holiday,” no one would’ve understood what he meant, mostly because they didn’t own TVs.)

However, this is 2020, the year when nothing is normal, and so we’re being encouraged to avoid traveling. It’s understandable. This Covid virus is nasty. Back in the early fall, when people relaxed and started mingling once again with other people, boom! The infection rate shot up again. 

So, even though we’re all fed up to here (if you could see me right now, I’m holding my hand just below my chin) with social distancing, and even though the Christmas season is the primary time many of us get to visit all of our loved ones, the prudent thing to do is lay low this year. The usual Christmas parties, holiday travel plans, and squeezing dozens of aunts and uncles and cousins into one raucous and festive house should be avoided.

You know what that means, don’t you? It means people are going to be really sad this year — even those of us who regularly complain about the hectic pace of the Christmas season. Christmas is always hectic, of course, but the joy of spending time with loved ones far outweighs the stress of zig-zagging all over the state to make it happen. Plus, Christmas is pure tradition. The best thing about any tradition is that we can count on it. This year we cannot count on this cherished Christmas tradition. 

Because of this situation, the only thing I could think to do is take two poignant Christmas songs and write new lyrics, making the songs even more melancholy. This first one can be sung to the tune of “I’ll Be Home for Christmas.”

This next song is to the tune of “Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas.”

Here’s wishing everyone a Merry Christmas, despite the craziness of 2020. And don’t forget: make sure you do what Joseph and Mary did back during the very first Christmas: pick up the phone and call your loved ones. If you can’t see them face-to-face, let them know you care. And God bless us, everyone!