Dying to Self this Lent

    It is Lent, and the Church uses it to call each of us to revisit the concept of dying to self for the glorification of God.  It is a direct challenge to how this world calls us to live for our own glory, and frankly our own survival.  Fighting through this challenge is reminiscent of Jacob’s wrestling with an Angel in Genesis 32, since we must fight through the night until daybreak against a foe whom we cannot best.

    In Genesis 32, Jacob prepares to meet his brother Esau. Esau had a reason to be upset with his younger brother.  Jacob’s theft of the birthright blessing justly caused bitterness between the brothers.  Yet Jacob knew the proper solution was to make peace with his brother when the morning light arose.  It would be the only way for each then live their lives the best they could without bitterness. 

    The night plays tricks with our minds, in the darkness we can play out all types of scenarios.  We can walk through prideful, meek, balanced and hopeful solutions to all our problems.  In our own minds we craft the perfect solution, usually one in which we win through our brilliance over our foe.  When we awake though we have to face the real world.  Our brilliance of thoughts in the night suddenly pales in the face of the Wisdom of God’s word illuminated by the sunlight.

    The Catechism teaches Jacob’s wrestling with the angel is symbolic of our struggle to preserve and remain faithful to prayer as we overcome temptation and grow in sancticy (CCC 409, 2573,2592,2725,2752).  When I read this story, I think of Jacob wrestling with his guardian angel through the night.  Jacob’s fidelity to God’s vision for his life and posterity goes up against his pride, fears and personal dreams the night before he faces a potential civil war with his brother.  When he finishes wrestling with the angel he gets a blessing, a new name, a painful thigh and reminder to follow God’s plan not his. 

    This in many ways foreshadows our Lenten journey.  Before he tested his faith, Jacob sent his family ahead of himself.  He sent them through the water while he made his preparations after wrestling with an angel.  He then took up his crosslike challenge, and led his family to the to meet his brother.  When Jacob met his brother he bowed seven times, an act of submission.  He in essence offered himself up to Esau, and Esau gave him back his life in passage through the lands he dominated with his earthly power.  Jacob in turn went through the Esau’s territory, stayed on his own path, and lived as God called him to without civil war.

    Before Jesus went to Jerusalem he sent the 72 disciples to clear the way.  Jesus prepared and prayed with his Apostles on his journey from Galilee.  Jesus bore the insults of the pious Jews of the times, whose birthright he stripped away with his birth.  The difference then was the pious Jews of Christ’s times did not give Jesus back his life.  Instead, they took Jesus life.  Through bowing his head on the cross, Jesus gave up his spirit to unlock the gates to our heavenly home.

    As we draw to the end of the Lenten evening, we too must cross through the waters of death in the morning to face a judgement.  As we wrestle with our conscience, may we die to self through resisting pride and selfishness with the courage of Jacob.  Let us fight all night long with valor so we may arise with a strong new name in the morning.  Let us all work towards this with faith and works to earn the name of Child of the Light, Faithful Disciple, and Saved by the Mercy of God when the light strikes our face at the end of this earthly life and heaven’s light touches our face.