The other day during Adoration I felt God speaking to me about running away from Him. At first, I was surprised to hear this. What do you mean I run away from You, Lord? I’m right here with You. I pray each day. I try to serve You and do Your will.
But upon looking more closely at my days, I realized there was truth in this, and that running away from God can take more subtle forms that fly under our radar.
For example, when I’m faced with a challenge that would take my faith deeper, I often distract myself by doing something else. When I find a Scripture uncomfortable, I set it aside and don’t return to it, and sometimes shift my focus to something more comfortable. When I’m anxious and worried, I continue to be anxious and worried and not turn to God ‘in the moment.’ When I’ve hit my time limit for prayer, I wander off to my next life activity, even if I’m in the middle of a deep thought or reflection. When a priest gives me advice in confession, I will remember it for a day or two, and then forget about it.
Am I cooperating with grace? Or am I running away from grace?
I wonder how much grace I’ve squandered because I ran away from God’s nudges and invitations. I wonder what that grace would have done for me. Maybe the current challenges in my life wouldn’t be as burdensome. Maybe I’d be a holier and better person. Maybe I would have reached my potential as God’s servant sooner. Maybe those sins in my life wouldn’t still be present. Maybe I’d be fully healed vs. partially healed.
If you find yourself running away from God in subtle or not so subtle ways, and not cooperating with the grace that wants to work in your life, may my shared experience show you that He notices and beckons you back to Him.
For you can run away from God, but His grace most certainly will run faster after you.