Being Breadcrumbed

In the age of technology it has become more common for someone to have been "breadcrumbed" by someone else. "Breadcrumbed" means that someone whether a close friend or significant other leaves just enough digital footprints for you to follow, and to keep you interested, but ultimately he or she does not maintain a true relationship.

The person who does the breadcrumbing will show interest and then almost as instantly as they appeared he or she drifts off into the darkness again. You will get a text here and a text there, and then when you respond it takes days or even weeks for the breadcrumber to respond. Then suddenly he or she will make another appearance and engage you, even ask you some questions that would require a response, but then the breadcrumber either takes forever and a day to respond, or simply never responds at all. He or she will make excuses for their actions, and even apologize, but then the offender does it over and over, and over again.

Breadcrumbing is hurtful, and leaves the individual being breadcrumbed in a state of confusion, frustration, and pain. I have been breadcrumbed by a close friend time and time again. And each time I receive a text from the individual I want to believe that it will be just like old times again, and that our friendship is still meaningful, but how can it be when day in and day out the individual appears, disappears, appears, disappears, and the vicious cycle never ends.

I don't know how we got here. I want to believe it is my imagination because this friend did not seem to be like that at all. I spoke with my friend, and explained how much it hurt me; seriously I was driven to tears. It is hard to even explain the agony I experienced from the breadcrumbing behavior. And I was assured that it would never happen again, and even received what seemed to be a very sincere and empathetic apology. But here I am again.....back to being breadcrumbed.

I understand friends cannot always have the same relationship, and it can change, but effort is required to maintain a friendship. A friendship should not be a one way street. My friend has started a new venture, and quite often is very busy, but the question is though, why not say so? Why can this friend not simply say, "Hey, I've been swamped here, I'm sorry I haven't been able to converse with you, and I will call/text when I am able to do so." Nope, just dead silence, unless I text him or he randomly out of the blue throws me a one liner. I am exhausted emotionally and psychologically from this friendship, and from being hurt endlessly.

The breadcrumbing was sudden and unexpected, and we spoke and texted so often even when this friend was so incredibly busy. I was busy too, but I made the time for our friendship because I thought it mattered to the both of us. But now I see it only matters to one of us, and although it will be difficult I know it is healthier for me to try my best to simply move on from the friendship.

I keep telling myself I can shake it and just forget that this friend ever existed, but the more I try, the more my heart hurts so much that I cannot even describe it. No matter how much I try to rid my memory of my friend, and all the great times we have had together, I fail epically and can only sob uncontrollably. The thought of this individual still makes me weep and my heart aches with a throbbing pain that simply will not go away. I feel like I lost my other half. This individual was as Anne of Green Gables would say, "my bosom friend". How did we get here?

Sin is the cause of it all; the pain, the hurt, and the suffering. Our fallen human nature is too blame; the consequences of Original Sin. There is no one in this world who is spared from concupiscence, so the sins that we commit tremendously harm others, and ourselves. There is no escape from the suffering that can be inflicted upon us by our fellow human beings, no matter how much we try to avoid it.

God is the only One, the only Friend, Who has never hurt me, and will never hurt me. He is the only one that I know with every fiber of my being that I can wholeheartedly trust. with all of my heart, mind, and soul. He is enough, and must be enough, and this is my reality. This is our reality. We can always go to God because He will never offer us only breadcrumbs. Our Lord Jesus Christ gives us His whole self in the Eucharist; His Body, Blood, Soul, and Divinity as true God and true man. It is in this precious gift that we grow closer and closer to Him, and we are healed from our wounds that have been inflicted by others. God's infinite Love helps us to put the broken pieces back together, and makes us whole again.