Meeting an Experience

My dad broke his hip recently. We were quite worried before the surgery until he came home. Needing emergency surgery during COVID is not such a great thing unfortunately. Many people can attest to that. My mother was the only one allowed into the hospital and there were delays with the surgery and a lot of back and forth. I am not a doctor and I do not like the sight of blood but amidst the surgery delays at the hospital, I complained to anyone I could think of that he needed the proper care. I created such a furor, but I did not think twice. I wanted to do what was right for my dad. The hospital responded and people rallied around my dad and supported me. As he continued his rehab, the only thing I knew what could reassure him was my faith. We would pray the rosary and I would tell him who was praying for him and how often and that complete strangers from my parish reminded me and him of God’s love for him. I gave my mom a pyx to bring him Holy Communion and she responded willingly. These events in our lives are here to remind us of how much we depend on God.

Things Change

This was not always the case for me. When I was younger, I was quite hesitant with Church life at more than one point of my life. I remember once when I was a teenager, that the nun in our parish used to hound me to join the choir, the youth group and a host of other things and I would run in the other direction as fast as possible. She would surreptitiously call my mom and orchestrate events and I would flip out often. I would try to avoid such things, but I did seem to make it to mass regularly. I look back on those times and laugh a lot but mostly it is just an embarrassment that I was so stubborn.

Why would I need God? I would ask myself often because I was so independent, and I did not need anyone. “He who trusts in himself is lost. He who trusts in God can do all things.” “What does it cost us to say, ‘My God help me! Have mercy on me!’ Is there anything easier than this? And this little will suffice to save us if we be diligent in doing it.”

– St. Alphonsus Liguori

I went through university and beyond just cruising along. I could make all my decision without anyone to help. I knew it all was a phrase I would tell myself often. I think a person can convince himself of anything. This moment for me arrived once I was settled in my new place in a new city and at a new job. I thought the world was my oyster. I started to fall apart at work that first while. My first job was challenging. Then, someone approached me at work and offered a hand. I was asked to meet up with a group of friends. My first reaction is what I always do – say NO. Of course, it is easy to say no. A child learns that word early on and it seems that we resist any opportunity that presents itself to us. That is, until we need something more. I went with that group of friends and many things began to change. First, was my attitude. This did not happen overnight because I was still a know-it-all. However, a new door opened and as St. Bede the Venerable said, “Unfurl the sails, and let God steer us where He will.”

Meeting the Mystery

This is exactly what God does. The mystery of the Infinite is astounding and completely incomprehensible. This applies directly to me. Looking back at that moment, I remember the difficulty of staying with these people. I had no idea where it would bring me. I think I would be a homeless person today or someone just going through the motions of life if I had not stayed. Instead, I met the Catholic Movement of Communion and Liberation. There are many roads in the Church, but this is the one chosen for me. There are many rooms in His father’s house. I have found mine. I was skeptical at first but as time passed and I saw the great possibilities it had for me; I could not look back.

The movement is one of many recognized by the Church, but this is the path for me. How do I know this? I only needed to look at the evidence and the fruit it bore. “No one should follow what he considers to be good for himself, but rather what seems good for another. Let them put Christ before all else; and may he lead us all to everlasting life.”– St. Benedict

 Giussani the Founder

Luigi Giussani was a priest who had a desire to bring what he met to others and so, he went to teach high school in Milan in the 1950s. His books, The Religious Sense, At the Origin of the Christian Claim and Why the Church? comprise his first trilogy. Many of his writings come from his work teaching but he has written many books. He was a teacher, an author, a priest, and a spiritual father to many. “If we wish to make any progress in the service of God, we must begin every day of our life with new eagerness.”– St. Charles Borromeo This applies directly to Father Luigi Giussani. He died in 2005 but he offered so much to many around the world. Each day was new for him.

There is no need to list quotes from his many works, but I will list two and what they mean to me. “Life is hunger, thirst, and passion for an ultimate object, which looms over the horizon, and yet always lies beyond it. When this is recognized, man becomes a tireless searcher.” ? Luigi Giussani, The Religious Sense. I was that searcher and I still am. I do not think that search ever ends. But I learned much in the movement. The songs, the readings the weekly meetings. Giussani would remind all of us that we need to go where we are happiest. Being happy is not something so sentimental but it is an experience that helps us.

Giussani continued in another work, “True solitude does not come from being physically alone but from the discovery that a fundamental problem of ours cannot find its solution in us or in others.”? Luigi Giussani, Christ, God’s Companionship with Man. We really are accompanied but not by others but through Christ and the experience of Christianity. Often I have felt alone. However, for me, it is this experience in the movement and the Catholic Church that satisfies my drooping spirit. We live in strange times and there are many challenges. There is no need to list them since each one of us sees what is happening around us.

My Experience

This experience is mine. “How could I wear a crown of gold when my Lord wears a crown of thorns, and he wears it for me?”-St. Elizabeth of Hungary

It is in these moments that I am forced to reflect and wonder how to begin and end my day. I need to understand how I am to work, enjoy life and be present to others. I do not wish to make a project on others, but I only want to be present to others. “Who except God can give you peace? Has the world ever been able to satisfy the heart?” – St. Gerard Majella

There are many roads a person can take in life. We are free to choose. However, in my experience the road found me. This changed things for me. I see the fruits of what I met. I do not travel to fill my days, but I travel to go where I am loved. Two thoughts from Pope St. John XXIII come to mind:

“Consult not your fears but your hopes and your dreams. Think not about your frustrations, but about your unfulfilled potential. Concern yourself not with what you tried and failed in, but with what it is still possible for you to do.”

“The secret of everything is to let oneself be carried by God and so to carry Him to others.”– St. John XXIII This is what the movement of CL does. It carries Christ to others.

Thoughts

Everyone around us, media, friends, institutions all try to provide answers to life. Endless polls, surveys and self-help books make their way into our lives. There is only one self-help – Christ. He is the true foundation. He is the one and for me this manifests itself in my life through the experience of the movement of Communion and Liberation. When I try to explain it to others it seems to go nowhere. They must see for themselves.

Giussani spoke often about the common mentality. It is always there but the mentality that is Christ is the true challenge for each one of us. I think of saints such as Elizabeth Ann Seton who was an Anglican and became a Catholic despite ridicule and objections. She lost many of her friends, but she continued with that tenacity in the faith. She stated, “We know certainly that our God calls us to a holy life. We know that he gives us every grace, every abundant grace; and though we are so weak of ourselves, this grace is able to carry us through every obstacle and difficulty.”

Conclusion

I was reading in the Denver Catholic periodical about the book, Disarming Beauty by Julian Carron, the responsible of Communion and Liberation. “The first encounter of Jesus with John and Andrew shows that when someone is fascinating, one cannot help but wish to see him again the next day. They met someone so exceptional that they wanted to be with Him. Being with Him was the most beautiful thing that could have happened in life. What does exceptional mean? That which corresponds to what the heart is waiting for.”  https://denvercatholic.org/event-christianity-thing-beauty/ Waiting What is our heart waiting for? Christ. I read this repeatedly. I hear it a thousand times and it is not simply waiting for Sunday Mass. I cannot wait for Sunday; I need him every day. Who am I following? In the words of St. Aloysius Gonzaga, I understood, “It is better to be a child of God than king of the whole world.” This attachment to something greater only leads us to something much more beautiful in the end. It is indescribable but it exudes from us because it exudes from Him.