Both opponents and proponents of abortion know the Supreme Court Case, Dobbs v. Jackson Women’s Health Organization (JWHO), will significantly impact abortion in the United States. It deals with the constitutionality of a 2018 Mississippi state law that banned abortion operations after the first 15 weeks of pregnancy. Now, I am not a constitutional expert by any means, but contrary to what pro-aborts claim, nowhere in the Constitution does it say abortion is a fundamental right, nor does it appear in any legal traditions or practices of America. However, I am an expert regarding another critical argument that prohibiting abortion after 15 weeks protects women.
Pro-aborts, since the passage of Roe v. Wade, argued that abortion has no harmful effects. Nothing could be further from the truth. Read the briefs supporting Dobbs vs. JWHO. Better yet, go to the Silent No More Awareness website (www.silentnomore.com). Among 20,000 people who have registered their regret are 3,002 written testimonies and 621 shared via video. Each abortion story is different; however, we all share the life-altering shame and pain.
In the late ’70s and early ’80s, I had two unplanned pregnancies. The first one occurred when I was promoted and transferred from a tiny town to a big city, away from my parent’s watchful eyes. I went wild with my newfound freedom and ended up pregnant. There was a choice between two fathers, so I decided neither would know. I didn’t tell my parents either because I was afraid of disappointing them. I also feared it would hold me back from future advancement in my job. Abortion seemed to be the only answer.
The procedure was humiliating. My OB/GYN called in two interns to observe. He explained every step to the interns, not caring about how it might affect me. I felt ashamed, violated, dirty, and empty. The first thing I did when I got home was crack open a bottle of bourbon. The second pregnancy came a few years later, and by that time, I was settled into my career, and although I had ended the relationship with the father, I didn’t even consider abortion. I wanted that baby. I garnered the courage to tell my parents and hoped they would be supportive. I was wrong. They were well known and respected in my small hometown and knew my being an unwed mother would stain their reputation. They strongly encouraged me to abort. I didn’t want to cause them any embarrassment, so against my better judgment, I did as they asked. This time I went to Planned Parenthood, and the procedure was no easier than the first. This doctor didn’t utter one word to me. He walked in, suctioned my baby out, and left. I felt even more shame and emptiness, as well as an overwhelming sense of sadness and resentment towards my parents. I wanted to have that baby. Once again, I turned to the bottle. My use of alcohol from then on increased to the point of alcoholism. I didn’t know it then, but it was a means to suppress the pain, shame, and regret of aborting two babies. My promiscuity increased too because I had to replace the love I lost towards myself.
Those coping methods eventually stopped working, and I ended up institutionalized in 1997 because suicide appeared to be the only alternative left. I had utterly self-destructed, taking my career, family, friends, and two marriages along. I also destroyed my fertility by having a tubal ligation at 30. I convinced myself that motherhood wasn’t that important. Unbeknownst to me at the time, I was punishing myself for the abortions. I didn’t deserve to be a mother.
Even after years of therapy and sobriety, I was still an emotional wreck. I looked good on the outside, but inside was another story. One weekend I attended a church conference, and the main speaker was a woman who shared how abortion had affected her life. She was telling my story! I had never attributed my prior behavior and current state of despair to abortion. My therapists and rehab counselors had never addressed any pregnancy loss, and I never brought up my abortions because the memories had been stuffed deep into the recesses of my mind.
After the presentation, I reached out to that woman, and she referred me to an after-abortion healing program. That program allowed me to connect the dots and understand how my abortions affected every aspect of my life and sent me spiraling into darkness. It also allowed me to forgive myself and forgive my parents.
As I said earlier, pro-aborts claim abortion does not hurt women. I would hate to see how they define harmful if what I and so many others experienced is considered “harmless.”