A Black Woman's Hair on Ash Wednesday

Don’t mess with an Italian man’s hair.  An old adage.  Well, I can say Italian men have met their match with Black women, especially with this Italian man and his wife Sarah.  My  goodness, the work, the time, the frustrations of this grooming experience is non stop and long term.  Quite the burden for Black women and they let you know it.  As the old joke told by Afro Americans goes – When God was giving out hair to everyone, Black women were in a hurry and so they shouted out, ‘Make it short and snappy.”  Unfortunately, because of their haste, God did not hear them correctly and made it ‘short and nappy’.  

Ash Wednesday begins the Lenten season for Christians, a 40 day period leading to Easter Sunday, the day of resurrection of our Lord Jesus Christ.  It is a time of personal preparation to come closer to Jesus which includes prayer, reflection and repentance.  It is a time of self-denial and spiritual discipline.  Sarah B. decided on that day to do her hair before attending mass in the evening.  

Hours of washing, setting, straightening, combing, rewashing, resetting, restraightening, recombing.  Hours.  Our day proceeded with me writing an article on my computer and listening to music while she continued with her hair and of course listening to the same music, a couple of French café style albums.  Pleasant day, aside from her typical hair fixing problems.  Then we went to Trader Joe’s as we often do and had dinner afterwards.  Yes, it really took her all afternoon and of course I complimented her after so much long and hard work.  

We went to mass at our church, St. Therese de Lisieux in Wellington and it was celebrated by Deacons Bob and Vinnie rather than one of the priests.  S’Ok.  We were set, hair and all.  We filed in, found a good spot to sit, socially distanced and the mass began.  But before the mass began, Deacon Bob made an announcement.  The traditional ritual is for the celebrant to rub ashes in the sign of the cross upon our foreheads at the end of mass.  This is to symbolize that we are but dust, and from dust we shall return to the earth when we die.  Only our souls will be preserved.  He reminded us of the true nature that the ashes really are, dirt and grime. The grime and earthly nature of it all.  Yes, we are but dust.  

Only one thing.  Pope Francis had made a decision this year.  This was quite a surprise.  Our ritual would change and replicate what Catholics practiced at the mass 1750 years ago.  Whether it had something to do with Covid-19, I don’t know.  It would bring us back to and with our ancestral brothers and sisters of 250 A. D. in keeping with this former , liturgical tradition. So, rather than the Deacons placing ashes upon our foreheads in the sign of a cross, they would instead do it as in those days, sprinkle these dirty earthen ashes upon our heads, on our hair and into our scalps. Not required, it is not doctrine,  but our pastor decided to abide.  

What ?!  We looked at each other in amazement.  Of all days to do my hair she would say later.  I stated she had more chance of winning the lottery than picking this day to mess with her hair. 646,000 days since the year 250 and she chose the day of Pope Francis’ decision to change tradition to do her hair.  Mon Dieu ! Yes, what are the odds?

Well, it really got to us.  We hadn’t laughed this hard in years and we actually slept with the ashes on our heads and it came out in the shower the next morning.  You know laughter is healthy and good for you, and Sarah and I have these belly laughs from time to time.  And as Deacon Bob told us, “This will be your best Lenten season yet.” God is Great all of the time and all of the time God is Great !