Choose the Better Part

“Martha, Martha, you are anxious and worried about many things" (Luke 10:41).

Over the past two years, I’ve witnessed the power of fear and worry. For some, this is a new and alarming feeling. For others, living in fear or worrying about everyting is what they’ve done their entire lives–the fear of rejection, the fear of abandonment, the fear of missing out, of failing, of making the wrong choices, worries about money, family, the future. It seems that more and more people are turning to fear and letting worry overtake them rather than having hope. Some are losing themselves complettely in the process.

St. Francis de Sales said, “Do not fear what may happen tomorrow. The same loving Father who cares for you today will care for you tomorrow and every day. Either He will shield you from suffering, or He will give you unfailing strength to bear it. Be at peace, then, and put aside all anxious thoughts and imaginings.” In other words, God has gotten you this far, even if you haven’t realized it until this moment, and God will continue to give you what you need to go on. Padre Pio was more to the point when he said, “Pray, hope, and don’t worry. Worry is useless.”

You can spend all day worrying, but will it get you anywhere? Will it change anything? Will your life or the lives of those around you be any better after hours of worrying about something? Wouldn’t it be better to know and trust that no matter what happens, you can handle it, that you have the ability to face the worst and still be okay?

Many years ago, when my husband and I were first married, we found ourselves in a very tight spot. We were more than stretched thin, two young kids in their twenties who spent every cent they ever saved on a modest house in town. I was working as a school librarian while going to UMCP to get my Masters in library science. Ken was holding down three jobs and applying for loans to attend law school. On a particular Sunday, we quarreled on our way to Mass. Ken noticed that, as he drove, I was writing a check to the church to go in the weekly offering. He asked me to stop and void the check because we just didn’t have the money to spare. I kept writing and explained that I felt, even though we didn’t have much, we had more than many and could give a small portion to the church. After a few minutes of back and forth, he grudgingly relented. I didn’t blame Ken. It wasn’t the money, or the church, or even whether or not we had a few dollars to spare. Ken is a worrier, and I’m not. He lies in bed at night thinking about everything bad thing that could happen to our family if this or if that... I say my prayers, give any worries I might have over to God, and go to sleep, knowing that I am in good hands.

Anyway, we put our check in the offering and went on about our business. Two days later, Ken came into the kitchen with a frantic look on his face. I was cooking dinner, and he had been going through the mail. I stopped and looked at him, knowing that something horrible had happened or was about to. With a pained expression, Ken told me that he just realized he had forgotten to pay the mortgage. It was due the very next day, and we had nothing left in our bank account. He was a man without options, and his despair emanated from him, filling the room like the thick, October, Eastern Shore fog. I told him that we would somehow make it work, but he shook his head and left the room, knowing that there was nothing he or I could do to fix the situation. I did what I always do. I prayed. The following morning, Ken left the house at 3:30 a.m. to go to work crabbing. Payday wasn’t until Friday, and I knew he would spend the entire morning trying to figure out a way to rob Peter to pay Paul before the money came through. The school where I worked was out for the summer, so I was in the kitchen doing homework for my graduate classes when Ken returned. After coming in to say hello, Ken headed through the kitchen to go upstairs and get ready for job number two. As he was passing the hutch that his father made for us, he stopped. I watched as a strange expression came over his face. Reaching up onto the top shelf, he picked up a souvenir tin with the Maryland flag on it and shook it. Opening the tin, he pulled out a wad of cash. With elation on his face, he turned to me.

“I forgot that I put this here weeks ago because I didn’t have time to go to the bank. I’m pretty sure it’s exactly the amount we need to pay our mortgage.” Ken's worry was useless. God had it under control. 

I have always believed that we are not made for fear or worry. Psalm 146:5 tells us, “Blessed are they who hope in the Lord.”

Last spring, Pope Francis wrote, “God never abandons his people; he is always close to them, especially when sorrow is most present.” You can substitute the word “sorrow” for any number of words, including worry, anxiety, hopelessness, or fear. The key is to allow God into your life, to trust him and trust that he is there for you, always.

Trust is not the same as optimism; it is not the same as living a Pollyanna-like existence. Trust is the willingness to abandon everything to God, to let him take control, to allow him to take your burdens upon himself. It is to follow the old mantra, Let go, and let God.

Jesus told us, “Come to me, all you who labor and are burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am meek and humble of heart; and you will find rest for yourselves. For my yoke is easy, and my burden light” (Matthew 11:28-30). God wants to relieve us of our fears and our worries, of all those things that are weighing us down and burdening us. He wants us to trust Him enough to let Him carry our load.

If you are always worried; if you live in fear; if you lack trust in human beings and don’t know where to look for help; if you don’t know how to live a life of joy and peace; if you don’t hear the voice of God, turn your heart, your mind, and your whole being toward God. Let Him in. Trust Him to make things better, to lead you through the pain and hard times, to help you not to fear or worry. St. Paul declared that believers are “set free from slavery to corruption and share in the glorious freedom of the children of God” (Romans 8:21). We have been set free from our chains of worry, fear, despair, and all other feelings that weigh us down. We were recreated through grace when our anxieties hung on the cross. All we need to do is trust.

If you don’t know where to begin, start at the bottom. Kneel or sit before the Lord. Put your cares aside and humble yourself at His feet. Don’t go to Him with fear or worry. Don’t beg or plead for something to happen or not happen. Rather, open your heart and mind, and say to the Lord, “Jesus, I trust in you.” He will hear you. He will answer you. He will get you through this. Focus not on your fears but on your trust in God, and let Him teach you how to put all your worries in Him. Humbling yourself before Him, listening to His word, and following His ways will build your trust in Him. Remember the words Jesus said at the home of his friends in Bethany, “Martha, Martha, you are anxious and worried about many things. There is need of only one thing. Mary has chosen the better part and it will not be taken from her” (Luke 10:41-42).

Let trust, not fear, be your guide.