Grading on a Curve

One Sunday morning, a few years ago, I attended the 7:30am Mass at Old Saint Mary Church in Milwaukee while attending a writer's conference. The church was packed, a nice sight to see so early on a Sunday morning. 
 
After hearing the homily, I could understand why.
 
The priest was witty, friendly, and engaging. His homily was so thought-provoking, I haven’t been able to stop thinking about it since.
 
Father Timothy Kitzk told the story of visiting his family years back when his older sister taught high school calculus. In order to allow his sister to complete her work and spend time with the family, Father Kitzk and his brother offered to help their sister grade papers.
 
Kitzk’s brother struggled with marking the answers wrong when the students seemed to have tried really hard but narrowly missed the answer. Father’s sister assured them that they had nothing to worry about because she graded on a curve.
 
Father then reminded us that God grades on a curve, too. 
 
Think about that. 
 
God grades on a curve. 

GOD'S MERCY IS TWO-FOLD

He doesn’t look at one act, one sin, one bad decision. He looks at all our hard work and grades us all on a curve. He knows that we can’t be perfect. More importantly, He knows that we can’t make the grade on our own. We need His help! We need Him to have mercy on us and grade us on a curve.
 
How profound is that?
 
But even more than that, the homily got me thinking about how I grade people.
 
While I certainly am not on par with God, what I say and think and do can matter greatly in the lives of the people I care about. We all know that a kind or harsh word from somebody, even an acquaintance, can influence how we feel the rest of the day and often how we feel about ourselves.
 
The truth is, nobody is perfect.
 
Everybody deserves to be graded on a curve!
 
I was reminded of a scene in Matthew’s Gospel.
 
Peter asked Jesus, “Lord, if my brother sins against me, how often must I forgive him? As many as seven times?” Jesus answered, “I say to you, not seven times but seventy-seven times” (Matthew 18: 20-21).

If Jesus expects us to forgive someone 77 times, how often do you think, in His perfection, God is willing to forgive us?
 
When I look back over my mistakes in life, 77 seems like a drop in the bucket!
 
The bottom line is, we need to be more like God and let people keep trying, keep forging ahead, keep making mistakes, and love and forgive them anyway.

Jesus Meets Us Where We Are

Now, don’t get me wrong. The point isn’t that someone should be allowed to hurt us repeatedly. No, the point is that we need to have mercy on others. We need to look past what they’ve done and see them for whom they are. We need to meet them where they are like Jesus does with us.
 
There will be times when we need to walk away, but even those moments can be a way to grade on a curve, perhaps for them, and perhaps, more so, for ourselves.
 
Because when it comes right down to it, not giving people the benefit of the doubt, not showing mercy, not giving second chances hurts the other person. But it actually ends up taking a toll on us, as well - the person unwilling to forgive, to let things go, or to grade on the curve. Sometimes the person you need to forgive, to give a break to, is yourself.

 
At a recent Sunday Mass, we heard one of my favorite Gospel readings. You know the one. It contained that beautiful conversation, recorded by John between Jesus and Peter on the shore of Galilee after the Resurrection (John 21:15-18).

“When they had finished breakfast, Jesus said to Simon Peter, ‘Simon, son of John, do you love me more than these?’ He said to him, ‘Yes, Lord, you know that I love you.’ He said to him, ‘Feed my lambs.’
He then said to him a second time, ‘Simon, son of John, do you love me?’ He said to him, ‘Yes, Lord, you know that I love you.’ He said to him, ‘Tend my sheep.’
He said to him the third time, ‘Simon, son of John, do you love me?’ Peter was distressed that he had said to him a third time, ‘Do you love me?’ and he said to him, ‘Lord, you know everything; you know that I love you.’ [Jesus] said to him, ‘Feed my sheep’.”

Imagine how Peter was feeling in the weeks after the crucifixion. Even after seeing the Risen Lord, Peter was still living with the guilt of denying Christ three times. Yet the Lord knew that Peter was the one He had chosen to lead His flock.

So, what did Jesus do? He tested Peter, and I would say, he graded him on a curve!

Those familiar with the original Greek translation of this scene know that there is more than just a discussion about repentance going on here. Jesus asks Peter three times if he loves Him, erasing the three denials, but there’s something deeper happening in this scene.
 
In the original translation, Jesus asks Peter first, “Do you love me with phileo love?” In other words, do you love me like a brother? To which, Peter answered, “Yes, I love you like a brother.”
Again, Jesus asks the question, but this time, He uses the word agape, or Godly love. Peter repeats that he loves Jesus with phileo love.

The third time, Jesus returns to His original question, “Do you love me with phileo love?” This time, Peter emphatically says, “Lord, you know all things; you know that I love (phileo) you.” Jesus responds, “Feed my sheep.”

What is most remarkable about this dialogue and the way Jesus poses the questions is that Jesus meets Peter where he is.

Jesus Graded Peter on a Curve

Peter wasn’t ready to commit to agape love. Perhaps he still felt bad about the denials, or perhaps he was finally realizing that he was often overzealous in his responses to Christ.  He ardently contended that he would lay down his life for Christ (John 13:37) and that he would never fall away even if others did (Matthew 2:33). He did neither of these when the moment arrived.
 
So, what does Jesus do?
 
He grades Peter on a curve. He relents, recognizing that Peter isn’t ready yet to make that leap again after failing on Holy Thursday and Good Friday. Jesus gives Peter the benefit of the doubt.
 
Jesus’s very next words to Peter were, “’Amen, amen, I say to you, when you were younger, you used to dress yourself and go where you wanted; but when you grow old, you will stretch out your hands, and someone else will dress you and lead you where you do not want to go’ He said this signifying by what kind of death he would glorify God. And when he had said this, he said to him, ‘Follow me.’” (John 21:18-19).
 
Jesus knew that Peter would follow Him. He would step up, take charge, and eventually lay down his life for Christ. Jesus knew the potential was there, so he let Peter slide, grading him on a curve.
 
If Peter could be graded on a curve, then, can’t I? Doesn’t Christ give me the benefit of the doubt? He knows my potential even when I fail to live up to it, yet He lets it slide, knowing that I will succeed when I’m ready.
 
I have a long way to go before I reach that big red 100% that God expects of me, but I’ll keep working at it every day, learning, studying, and growing in my journey. And I’m going to try to remember that everyone else is doing the same. I’m going to make my best effort to start grading everyone on a curve.

And that includes the grade I give myself.

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