The Glory and Greatness of Daily Suffering

Dorothy Day, in her extensive diary edited together under the title “The Duty of Delight”, made this remark: 'We do not make enough of suffering, we do not rejoice in this coin that is given us to pay our debts and those of others….One of the objections to suffering which we do not admit is that it is undignified.  It is not a wound heroically received in battle.  Hay fever, colds in the head, bilious attacks, poison ivy, such like irritations which are sometimes even worse than a severe illness are to say the least petty and undignified.'

This is a keen observation that we can all recognize in our own life.  if I get annoyed at my daughter, for instance, for interrupting me for the fourth time in as many minutes, do I think, “Okay, I am feeling annoyed right now.  What is a way for me to properly deal with this emotion?  What is the cause of it?  God, please help me to lift this up to you.”  Or do I fail to even take conscious notice of it and just remain in my annoyance, letting it drift off with no closure or fester into something worse? 

Our responses, or lack thereof, to such little sufferings (the headaches, the soreness at the end of a workday, colds, irritation at others, disappointment in oneself, etc.) may seem insignificant, but like venial sins they add up and stretch and strain our covenant with God.

How easy it is to envision ourselves experiencing severe ordeals and adversities with calm and tranquility, to imagine ourselves enduring relentless trials with uncompromising perseverance and patience.  Nevermind the fact that we are probably not as good a person as we assume ourselves to be, making such ideas the stuff of make-believe.  What is more distressing is how typical it is for us to ignore or forget such virtues in the slight discomforts that we feel on a regular basis.  

Why is this the case?  Because the little sufferings are too little for others to see.  At least with serious situations of suffering the valor with which (we think) we will withstand it will be on full display for others to notice and admire (hence the ease with which we can glorify our own image in such imaginative scenarios).  But with smaller sufferings it naturally goes almost unnoticed, and in the rare circumstance somebody does notice it you will only receive minor, if any, sympathy.  You certainly won’t be called heroic for tolerating a headache or an annoyance. 

This is, what I suspect to be, one of the predominant reasons why many people struggle with bearing these daily sufferings: to do so is to risk a confrontation with our own pride.  

So what, then, is the proper way to approach these daily difficulties?  As Dorothy Day herself said, they 'should be welcomed…at least as an opportunity of quietly enduring without complaint and submitting and accepting the will of God”, for “in reality it takes heroic virtue to practice patience in little things, things which seem little to others but which afflict one with unrest and misery.  Patience with each other and with each other’s bickering.'

Indeed, no glory from others can be had here, but that is precisely the point.  We are not doing it to look good in the eyes of others, but out of a desire to love God and love your neighbor.  True heroism, after all, is to sacrifice the self for the good of another, even at the expense of one’s ego and wellbeing.  

Yes, by being patient in these small sufferings we will grow to be patient during severe sufferings; but even more importantly, we will be doing so not for our glory but for God’s glory.  Such mild acceptance is what Day calls ‘The sacrament of the present moment’, daily conversions to Christ and His will.

This might be easier said than done, of course.  Negative thoughts and feelings cannot usually just be wished away.  Like anything else, habitual practice will, by God’s grace, strengthen one’s resolve to acquire them over time.  We will need to be patient as we acquire patience, persevere in our perseverance.

In the meantime, trying to force away negative feelings or pretend like they don’t exist would be both draining and counterintuitive.  A better alternative, to quote Day again: 'We can even offer up, however, our own lack of peace, our own worry.  Since I offered all the distractions, turmoil and unrest I felt at things going askew a few weeks ago, my petty fretting over this one and that one, I have felt much better and more able to cope with everything.'

Such ‘distractions, turmoil and unrest’ are part of the common hardships we all experience;  Dorothy Day herself was not immune to them.  Don’t avoid these feelings; don’t push away these slight struggles; it won’t work and will probably make it worse.  Instead, follow in Day’s footsteps: say a quick prayer thanking God for this chance to turn to Him, repent of whatever sins that may have led you to feeling this way, and ask God for the grace to quietly endure it for His sake and the sake of your neighbor.

Receive often the sacrament of the present moment.