What Mary can show victims

WHAT MARY CAN SHOW VICTIMS

Most of us probably look upon Mary as being so perfect that she never had to deal with the struggles that ordinary people face daily. But a quick review of the few Gospel events about her life show her choosing a different path when she had to face hurt, injustice and pain. It would be hard to imagine Mary having ugly emotions like anger or resentment but she was human after all.  She must have faced temptation if her son did.  It happens and we struggle to forgive and to heal.

When a friend has hurt us it may have been for a greater good. As when Jesus chose to suffer it had to have pained his mother. But deliberate hurt directed to a loved one certainly seems mean and sinful.  If it wasn’t deliberate then it certainly wasn’t well expressed. Our first reaction may be less than virtuous but how could it be handled better?

Of course the first priority is to forgive or to at least be understanding of human weakness. However, that does not remove the pain nor the impulse to bury it so deeply that it seeps out in little barbs or to harbor resentment and wallow in self pity.  Now what did Mary do in similar circumstances?

When Mary enjoyed the thrill of speaking with an angel and agreed to become the Mother of the Savior it must have indeed been a joyful event. However, there are always neighborhood and family gossips who may have questioned her virtue and talked behind her back. Joseph certainly questioned. That must have hurt a lot to have her fiancee misjudge her.  Then there was the humiliation of being denied shelter in Bethlehem. She had a certain right to feel that a pregnant woman should get some preferential treatment!  Then having to run from the King’s wrath to save the life of her son while hundreds of mothers wept over the slaughter of their sons because of hers. How she must have wept and questioned.  Where were she and Joseph to go to be safe? Not home, not back to Nazareth. No, she and her little family were now refugees leaving behind everything familiar. Not just to any foreign land but back to Egypt of all places. Here there was a foreign language, foreign food and customs and even foreign gods! This is a lot to ask of a teenage mother and her family. But the worse was yet to come in her adult years when she had to watch her Son be wrongfully arrested. Then face a rigged trial and the humiliating and excruciating  death of a criminal.

A lesser woman may rail at God for the injustice of it all, hold protests, rant on Twitter, weep on some talk show. Or maybe just quietly blame God and quit prayer, leave the faith, and Church altogether.

Simeon prophesied to Mary that a sword would pierce her immaculate heart. And it did over and over again. Do we see her building up anger or resentment toward neighbors, religious leaders, or political powers? No, she “pondered all these things in her heart” with the Holy Spirit and struggled like we do to discern God’s will and God’s plan in all these life events. God’s ways are so different from our ways but still she trusted and submitted her will.

Jesus taught his followers to forgive as we hope to be forgiven. Mary too had to forgive human cruelty, ignorance throughout her life and maybe even had to forgive God for how hard it was to carry out His plan. There was so much she must have questioned. 

She is our role model. Do not harbor resentment, it only hurst you. Do not cling to even justifiable anger, it will only eat your soul. Jesus said that true love is patient and endures all things. Pray. Then pray some more to forgive and to be healed of your hurts, your pain and and your resentments. Then take it all to confession again and again, asking for the grace to heal and let it go. God will not deny your request. Persevere until it is gone. The Father loves you more than you can imagine and will give all that is good for you,

Satan wins when we cling to our ugly feelings and desire revenge, or day dream a plan for revenge. He loves it when we tell others how wounded we are and seek pity so everyone will know the injustices of the one who hurt us. Satan wants us to wallow in our self pity and our injured pride.

We are free to choose the good or not.  We are free to choose to forgive and to enjoy the Father’s love or we can let Satan have a piece of us in the hope that he will eventually own all of you. 

Let Mary, your Mother, who has suffered more than you ever will, embrace you, comfort you and teach you the path to follow. 

Pray the Memorare.