Walking the Walk--Yes, that Walk!

I remember in college orientation being introduced to the term "the walk of shame," young co-eds returning in the early morning after partying and one night stands. Everyone discussed how difficult it would be and what the reality meant to your college future. It still happened, but it was at least out in the open. There is another walk, one that occurs on the opposite side of the sexual union spectrum, that is rarely discussed and it is hurting our families, our fellow parishioners, and our Church. That walk is the walk of Natural Family Planning (NFP).

There are glossy brochures and enticing websites, but most only answer the most basic questions and lead you to believe that walking this walk is the best and happiest experience anyone can imagine. Thankfully, and in no small part thanks to Smicha Fisher's book The Sinner's Guide to Natural Family Planning, people are finally talking about living the reality.

Jesus asked us to take up our cross and follow HIM. Walking the fruitful life of traditional, Catholic marriage is a blessing, but also a cross. You are called to walk exactly against the flow, counter cultural, up-stream fighting the strongest currents of modern life that are continually placing you in a position of having to guard your heart, shield your mind, defend your position, and cling to your Faith--the One, True, Faith! All of this is very difficult, but fruitful. Fruitful not only in growing families, but in sanctification.

By ignoring the reality, we are not supporting the families who have chosen to walk this often lonely road (Only about 2% of all Catholics in the United States practice Natural Family Planning). We also are not doing much to spread to word about this God ordained lifestyle and the real fruits it produces. Yes, it can help build your marriage, but it is not a given and still requires work and sacrifice. Marriage is a vocation because it requires surrender and submission, just as Holy Order does. Marriage is not the easy path, having large families is not the life of ease. Trusting God in every area of your life, most especially your fertility in a world determined that it should be well controlled, is not a panacea, a quick fix, the high life of spiritual luxury.

My family has been planned and created using NFP tools. Did it all go as we had planned? Absolutely not! God has a plan, and despite all the charts, stickers, temperature taking, and symptom checking, He is still at the helm of the ship. There were months when we longed for a child and had none, and months when a child came and we weren't sure how we would make it. It has been a journey, and long climb up a hill that we know leads us closer to Heaven. That is our motivation to take the next step. Every step is a choice and a prayer and a sacrifice. There is no set it and forget it feature in any NFP plan.

After over 13 years of marriage, where we embraced NFP from the moment of our engagement, we still would not change our decision, though we often questioned how and why. As I near the end of my fertile years and look back on our journey, I have a deep desire to spread the news of NFP and reassure those who have taken up the yoke that can seem very heavy at times. Honest evangelization, open discussions! So, I am writing a series of articles on the truth of NFP, some of it may upset its greatest cheerleaders, but my hope is that it will console and uplift those that are walking the rockiest parts of the path; while showing those that do not know much about it or have always thought that it is not right for them, the true beauty of a system that is passed on the rhythm and signals God placed in our bodies when He formed our ancestors, Adam and Eve, in His Image.

Please come on this journey with me and leave suggestions of topics we should explore in the comments section. It is time we break the deafening silence and celebrate the gift God has given us in its true and raw form, not a cleaned up, sanitized version, but truth--for we are people of truth, our Church was founded on Truth, and our God is the Author of Truth. After all, would you bow down and worship Christ in the Eucharist if we were never told the graphic truth of His Passion, Cross, and Resurrection?

Thank you for reading and God bless.