This Is a Tough One

I am dealing with two major ailments right now, my glaucoma that is not responding well to drops, and may require surgery; and my arthritis that is slowly deteriorating knees and hips. I am 68 almost, and still working nights. I have short term disability insurance and then the long term insurance with the hospital. I also believe in the power of God’s love to heal and restore. Conflict---do I want to be well?

What you say, how is this a conflict? Well if I get bad enough,I would be able to get on that disability and no longer work. If I am healed then, welcome to working longer to make ends meet. But wait, cannot the same God who heals also provide? Just how strong is my faith in God my Father’s love for me and doing what is best for me in my life.

This gets deeper-

Do we as people of faith—believe more in our abilities to care for ourselves and therefore do not get off of our mat of security and stay crippled for life unto death. In providing for ourselves and in pushing ourselves beyond our limits—we stress ourselves, we carry the load and sow the seeds of destroying our body. “If we strive to save our life—lifestyle—we die, and if we die to our self and our way of thinking—we live. We live in Christ's perfect plan for our life. For many years now, I have longed for the joy of being a full time servant of the Lord. In many ways, at work especially, I have done just that –giving to my patients the love and care that I would lavish upon Jesus, who came off the Cross dead from all His wounds. I was not there for Him then, I am here for Him now and there He is in all the wounded and suffering, struggling people where ever you find them. So, I am that full time servant, but is there more in that Plan for me? Scripture tells me to write down the vision clearly, and that it time it will be fulfilled--or is that revealed--and I am given understanding.

The vision, the dream is to be able to teach, share, sing, and pray for people and seek God’s healing touch in their lives. Over forty years I have been in that Holy Spirit University of learning through life and all you experience. So much that can be shared and taught to others—May I Lord? Or will my body that I have slowly destroyed from stress and over eating, and my eyes keep me from going into Your Promise Land of walking in Your Perfect Plan? Maybe the problem is that my poor vision is due to seeing through my eyes of perceiving what God’s Will, God’s Plan is.

Going to the Arkansas Catholic Charismatic Conference this weekend, will I be given total healing and ‘restoration’ of my eyes as Promised by Scripture from Tobit received last week. Lord for Your honor, Your glory, heal my eyes, my body in a way that is all a part of Your Will, Your Plan and Jesus may the greatest gift given, be that I TRUST IN YOU.