Loving Your Child Part 1: What is Love?

[A Catholic perspective on parenting kids with needs - Part 1 is about the deeper meaning of Christ’s Love for us to our love for our children. No matter the challenges we face with our children, we must first love them as Christ loves us.]

Love is sacrifice, the emptying of oneself for another. The entire Bible is about love, God’s love for us. Sometimes it’s a hard love and sometimes it’s a sacrificial love, but it’s always about love. St. Paul wrote extensively about love in 1 Corinthians 13.

Love “is not rude, it does not seek its own interests, it is not quick-tempered, it does not brood over injury, it does not rejoice over wrongdoing but rejoices with the truth. It bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never fails.” (v 5-8a)

The Statue of the Son, a 3D rendering by artist Chad Knight, illustrates this perfectly. No matter what kind of parent one is (mom, dad, grandparent, step-parent, foster parent, etc.), this is what true love for a child looks like. We give ourselves to our children in an act of love, seeking to provide their every need. We build them up with all we can give of ourselves.

The challenge comes when parenting doesn’t go as perfectly as planned. [Spoiler: this is almost always!] Take heart, parents! God’s plans are above ours and He knows our plights before we do!

“For I know well the plans I have in mind for you, plans for your welfare and not for woe, so as to give you a future of hope.” (Jeremiah 29:11)

Our children are no more perfect than we are, and sometimes they need more help than we did at their age. Whether it’s behavior, ADHD, autism, developmental delays, or other physical or mental challenges, our kids need love just the same as we do. As parents, we strive to do just that. We hit roadblocks for sure, such as tiredness, financial stress, marital tension, lack of access to education or services, but one thing always comes first. That is love.

Our love for them is first, just as God’s love for us is first. So take a breath, mama. Breathe out, dad. When all the world seems shaky and you feel like you’re not doing enough or finding the solution, breathe. Just stop for a moment and remember to just love them in the moment.

Love comes in hugs when school isn’t going right. It comes in early bedtimes when the day’s been hard. It comes in timeouts and punishments when we love them enough to try to teach them right from wrong. Love can be stern or gentle, but it is never hostile or hurtful. If other things are, remember also, love is forgiving. Love is honest. Love is reconciliation.

We are not perfect by far, but we do love our children as the Lord first loved us.

“We love because He first loved us.” (1 John 4:19)