Carrying the Cross and What We Can Learn From 9/11

Amy Schisler | 09/11/2022

Today is 9/11.

May all of us remember with love and compassion this day.
May we grieve with those who still mourn,
And share memories with those who cannot forget.
May we draw strength from those who bravely responded,
And gave their lives to save others.
May we stand with strangers who became neighbors that day,
And remember their generosity and hospitality.
Above all God may we remember your faithfulness
And learn to trust in your unfailing love
https://godspacelight.com/2011/09/09/memorial-prayers-for-911/

Recently, I listened to an interview with Jeannie Gaffigan, wife of comedian, Jim Gaffigan, that echoed recent thoughts of mine. Her new book, When Life Gives You Pears: The Healing Power of Family, Faith, and Funny People (Oct 1, 2019), tells the story of what she learned after being diagnosed with a brain tumor. Her point, in the interview, is that good can come from bad.

We all have a cross to bear. No matter what our cross or its size is, we can choose how to carry it, how to respond to it, and how to navigate carrying it to the end of the painful road. More importantly, we can take that pain and suffering we endure on the cross and put it toward the greater good. How fitting that we should meditate on this today.

And how clear this has become to me over the course of my life, especially when I recall that period in 2001 when, for a short time, everything changed.

A Changed World

Remember the aftermath of 9/11? Not the anger or fear but the compassion, faith, and shared hope that things would get better. Remember how the churches swelled with attendees? Remember how the blood banks filled with the blood of those left behind, those who wanted to contribute in some way? Remember how the flags were raised, the anthem soared, and hearts of stone were softened?

That horrible, unthinkable tragedy made everyone look at life–and death–differently. It brought us together. It became an inspiring call to Never Forget. Our compassion and our love for each other, country, and God, were on full display. Our human spirit and zeal for life were resurrected.

I ask you to think about someone you know—or even your own experience—when great suffering was not just endured but accepted. Not just accepted but accepted with a smile and with the confidence that God would not give you more than you could handle. Looking back, I bet you can identify some good that came from that suffering–a better job, a more peaceful life, a closer bond with friends and family, perhaps even a new love. And I bet you still wonder, how was I or they able to handle it?

The truth is - God will often give us more than we can handle, much more, because He can handle it. Often we need to be reminded of our country’s motto, “In God we trust” because it is that trust that moves us from this life to the next, spiritually, physically, and emotionally. It is that trust that assures us that we don’t have to handle it. God will handle it for us.

A Changed Person

I think of one my dearest friends who fought stage four cancer. Years later, as she enjoys a full life with her cancer in remission, I remain constantly amazed by her unwavering faith and ever-present joy. She never did and still doesn’t sugarcoat her illness. She admits that it was hard, that sometimes when she’s sick or overworked, it’s still hard. She’s still tired. She still experiences bad days when she doesn’t feel great. She has experienced many days filled with countless moments of distress and frustration.

But she never failed or fails to smile, to tell everyone how blessed she is to be surrounded by friends and family, to profess her faith that everything would turn out just right, whatever God wills that to be. She knew that, no matter how much she suffered, there would be some form of light, joy, and peace on the other side of the suffering. And she has been proven right time and again.

Someone else I love dearly suffered for a long time. She underwent a tragic event that altered everything in her life. She was forced to move, say goodbye to friends, change her career goals, and learn to love herself again. Through it all, she kept her chin up, made the best of each situation, and remained focused on dealing with what happened, overcoming the hurt and loss, and starting new. Yes, she had ups and downs, but she pushed through, relying on her faith and family to comfort her.

It was scary. It was painful. It was the largest cross she may ever carry, but she carried it. I will never forget the beautiful, sunny Saturday morning when she texted me and said, “It’s been one year today, and look how far I’ve come.” It hasn’t been a straight and smooth path in the years since that text, and she continues to have setbacks, but she is happy, growing in confidence, and discovering how to use her God-given talents.

Today, her brokenness, her wounds, and her suffering have been transformed and renewed. She has been resurrected. Yes, there were some dark moments—some very, very dark moments. Thankfully, she had the support of loved ones. She sought professional help. She prayed and went to Mass and sought guidance from above. And she didn’t give up, didn’t give in, didn’t allow herself to be defeated.

It wasn’t easy. It was a real struggle. She still has days when she is haunted by what happened, and she questions whether she can continue; but these days make her stronger, more confident, able to examine her life, her choices, her goals, her friends, and her faith. Her struggles continue to take her to the next level.

A Changed Outlook

And that’s what suffering, pain, and loss are all about. They are a means to get to the next level. They are what we find on the path to new life. And we can’t walk that path alone. Like we learned after 9/11, we get there by relying on each other and on God.

Pope Francis tells us, “The Way of the Cross alone defeats sin, evil and death, for it leads to the radiant light of Christ’s resurrection and opens the horizons of a new and fuller life. It is the way of hope, the way of the future. Those who take up this way with generosity and faith give hope and a future to humanity" (Address at Via Crucis in Blonia Park, Krakow, Poland, July 30, 2016).

To those who are suffering and to those watching someone suffer, remember this: almost without fail, pain and suffering lead to something great and wonderful. Perhaps it won’t happen in this life, or in ways you can see or touch or measure. And sometimes, it happens in ways so profound, we must wait until the next life to understand it.

I don’t wish pain or suffering or grief on anyone. What I wish for everyone is that, when pain comes along, we all see it as a road to something wonderful. Perhaps we need to remember that today more than ever. 9/11 was a horrible tragedy that I pray our country never relives, but we witnessed so much good in its immediate aftermath.

Our world is still suffering. Twenty-one years later, we seem to have forgotten all that we learned in those days and weeks and months after 9/11. May we all come to have a sincere appreciation for the good that God does in our lives even when we are given a cross to bear. May that be the biggest thing we Never Forget.

“One day, I saw two roads. One was broad, covered with sand and flowers, full of joy, music and all sorts of pleasures. People walked along it, dancing and enjoying themselves. They reached the end of the road without realizing it. And at the end of the road there was a horrible precipice; that is, the abyss of hell. The souls fell blindly into it; as they walked, so they fell. And their numbers were so great that it was impossible to count them. And I saw the other road, or rather, a path, for it was narrow and strewn with thorns and rocks; and the people who walked along it had tears in their eyes, and all kinds of suffering befell them. Some fell down upon the rocks, but stood up immediately and went on. At the end of the road there was a magnificent garden filled with all sorts of happiness, and all these souls entered there. At the very first instant they forgot all their sufferings.”
–Diary of Saint Maria Faustina Kowalska, #153