I Saw You - What I Learned From The Chosen's Nathaniel

I am a big fan of The Chosen, the streaming series about the Apostles. It is so rich with lessons about faith, and though it is not written from the point of view of any one faith, I find it to be an extremely Catholic series. For example, Mary plays a very prominent role in the ministry of her son. Also, Peter is clearly the leader of the apostles, and he clearly envisions the hierarchy and instructive role of the Church (as seen in the conversation he and Jesus have in this episode about which I am writing). However, the person I have been thinking about a lot lately is Nathaniel.

Dying to Oneself

In The Chosen, Nathaniel is portrayed as an architect working with the Romans, but a collapsed building ruins his reputation and his life. He has spent his entire life hoping to build synagogues that will praise God through their architecture. When his plans fail, he feels that he has died, and he has. He experiences the death of his hopes, his dreams, and his plans for the future. He finds himself in a tavern mourning the death of someone he knew. When the bartender asks how the man died, Nathaniel answers that he died of hubris – of arrogance and pride.
 
Later, we see Nathaniel in an open field under a fig tree. He is distraught. He opens his satchel and takes out his architectural drawings, and sets them on fire. He calls out to God that all he did was done for Him. Through tears, he prays Psalm 102:

Hear my prayer, O LORD!
And let my cry for help come to You.
Do not hide Your face from me in the day of my distress;
Incline Your ear to me;
In the day when I call answer me quickly.

Following his prayer, Nathaniel picks up the ashes that were once his drawings, and he releases them into the wind.

Nathaniel feels that he has died. His drawings are now ashes. The life he knew is over.

Come and See

The next time we see Nathaniel, he is home in bed, still mourning the death of his desired life. His friend, Philip, a new follower of Jesus, shows up and says to him, "Come and see." Philip explains that Jesus is the one the Baptizer has been preparing them for, The One, the one foretold by Jesus and the prophets. This closely follows John's account in the Gospel:

“Philip found Nathanael and told him, “We have found the one about whom Moses wrote in the law, and also the prophets, Jesus, son of Joseph, from Nazareth.” But Nathanael said to him, “Can anything good come from Nazareth?” Philip said to him, “Come and see.” (John 1:45-46).

A familiar phrase to viewers of The Chosen, “Come and see” has become a tagline for the series, but it should be much more than that. When we come and see what Jesus offers, we have the opportunity to do what Nathaniel did – shed our old lives, release the ashes of our pasts, and become new beings, new bearers of The Word.

Being Seen

Just as in the Gospel reading, when Nathaniel asked The Chosen’s Jesus how He knows him, Jesus responds, “I saw you under the fig tree.” But the dialogue in the episode goes further. Jesus says, “When you were in your lowest moment and were alone, I did not turn my face from you.”

Let us recall these words:
Hear my prayer, O LORD!
And let my cry for help come to You.
Do not hide Your face from me in the day of my distress.

Jesus SAW Nathaniel under the fig tree. He saw him physically, and He saw into his soul. Jesus saw and did not hide from Nathaniel or his pain. He heard his prayer and his cry for help.

Jesus sees everything about us; He knows everything about us; He never hides from us even when we feel most alone. Jesus sees into our souls. He hears our prayers and our cries for help.

The scene concludes with Jesus saying to Nathaniel, “You wanted to help build something that would cause prayers and songs, something that would bring souls closer to God.”

Being Chosen

This is what we are all called to do. We are called to help build something that will causes prayers and songs, that will bring souls closer to God. We are called to “come and see” and to then take what we see to the world. We are called to leave behind our old lives, to let go of the bridges we have burned, to release the ashes, and to be recreated, reborn to a new life.

Out of the depths of our despair, from the ruins of our past lives, from the ashes we have piled around us, we seen and we are called. We are Nathaniel. And Mary and James and John and the rest.

We are The Chosen.