How we rise and fall through the attraction of wants!
The Days of Wine and Roses, a movie starring Jack Lemmon and Lee Remick, filmed in 1962. The story revolves around the two meeting at a business party, where they eventually fall in love and marry. But their drinking becomes an addiction to both and the marriage ends in disaster. Not too different from relationships in our modern society today.
Two people, a husband and wife, end in a divorce court and the only criterion asked is are there any common assets that the court may have to make a discernment over. What caused the break-up is of no consequence. It could have been physical or mental abuse, one deep in addiction of some type, adultery, or other sexual inuendos that created a wall too high to circumvent.
These, unfortunate for avoiding the court system, are areas where marriage counselors could step in and help. There also are church related programs like Retrouaville which are assets for failing marriages. Whatever can be utilized it would be a starting point to try and glue together the implements that caused a break-up to start. Somewhere, in all disagreements between two or more persons or larger components, there is a point of beginning antagonisms that can not stand alone. When one is rattled by the outward or closeted reaction of the other party there needs to be an intercessor that jumps into the middle of any sign that is occurring.
Unfortunately, there usually is never a middle man available on short notice. When the separation of the two parties gets going at full-speed that person who may be able to help may end with their hands tied. They need to get a higher authority to step-in and share if not take over the whole situation. Without that entity becoming involved, the chance of reconciliation may collapse.
The best method, especially in a Catholic marriage, is to keep the connection of God at the center of their marriage. I often wonder, how many new weddings leave an impression on the newly-weds performed in a church or by a cleric as an official witness that stays together longer than the day of vows and is forgotten the next day.
Yes, will the heads in the clouds of the music, the number of attendants, the wine and food that follows, and the glitter of two becoming one remain after this special day. Look at the statistics; More than half of currently married couples (55 %) had been married for at least 15 years. While 35 percent had reached their 25th anniversary. A small percentage , 6 %, had even passed their golden wedding anniversary. The sad news is as time evolves the statistics get worse. Where or what are the tragic influences that quickly enter in the marriage bond and simply tear away at what was “Until I die” proclamation. Add to all that is the prodigy they have left standing as to who will gain custody, creating a devastating scenario for children who by their own innocence bear the uneasy lifestyle of ”Who do I belong to?” These are the recipients of a marriage without God in the first place.
Not too many couples join hands and exchange rings with the definite thought of doing this more than once, or let’s try it for a while. However, this Sacrament is the only one where the minister does not perform this action. It is the Bride and Groom who via their vows marry each other. The rings become the physical side of this sacrament. Remember all sacraments require word and action. Should they keep in mind these words and actions perhaps the results of a failed marriage may take root and prevent an upset of two becoming one
Ralph B. Hathaway