I woke up this morning, my back really sore and hurting and then the spasms hitting like lightening. It is hard to bend and to sit—OW BIG TIME! So, I hit the cold compresses, the meds, the back brace is on, the vibration used and I kept going. Animals were fed, and breakfast cooked. My husband said ‘what did you do, that caused your back to go out?’
What did I do or is it what didn’t I do? I continued to eat with no intention to loose my weight since July’s Conference. Emotional eating kept up. I also did not really pay attention to the warning signs of the tinges of pain that came with lifting and bending. I knew that I have arthritis and even though I did continue the bicycle riding and the swimming at least 3 or 4 times a week—yes oh yes, there still was the continue attitude of mumbling and grumbling about those everyday chores. So, stress and that stinking attitude prevailed.
It is as if my body worked with my mind in helping me to be free of the ability to do those chores—to go to work, to even be able to sit. In other words, my body is the voice screaming out---“I told you so!!!”
“You have abused me and mistreated me, you pride to keep going and be defiant even when symptoms started up---has led you to this point of now, I am shutting your body down—and what are you going to have to face as this life of yours continues?”
Like so many others, we walk in an attitude of complacency. The attitude of ‘it won’t happen to me.’ Yeah my grandfather smoked till he was eighty and never got cancer---attitude. Or for me, my mom died at eighty, with those 200 pounds on her body—but wait, her back was bent over from arthritis, and she suffered for years with the heart pain and weakness. So—look at the TRUTH here---listen to what the medical experts tell us!!! Choose to take care of your body or watch yourself slowly deteriorate into a painful ending. We are told to take care of the temple that we are, and we are warned too that if we desecrate that temple---woe to us!!!
It may be too late for a full comeback. My husband had surgery and is permanently disabled, and unless God heals—faces pain in his back till death do you part. Perhaps my back is responding to my mistreating of it---ignoring the warning signs, the fact I am 68, and still working in rehab where heavy or frightened patients will cause problems with transfers or even turning them. Oh, but the prideful me, still thinks---you can do this---show the world that age doesn’t matter. Mea culpa—what can I say now dear body of mine—I am sorry? Forgive me, Father for I have continued to sin—and I am so not worthy for You to say the Words—You are healed. I have never in my life have really believed that statement this deeply. I am human, I am weak and this is why my back pain began my day as the greatest gift to me. It brings me back to the foot of Jesus, to ask for His mercy and healing of my wounded heart and attitude of pride and arrogance. Last week on the show (episode #69) of “Its Me-God” we talked about the need to enter into that ALL or NOTHING commitment to God. Either we obey, or we continue to walk on the edges of that mighty ocean of His love and mercy. Well, as usual—I am busted, convicted by my non compliance brought up in a very painful way.
Thank You God for the pain, the wisdom from the experience and the joy that comes with knowing just how much You love me—that You discipline and purify in all the ways you do. I do not know the final outcome of this pit stop of my life’s journey. I do know this—I will rejoice and praise Him in all the storms of life—knowing that His love, His grace is all that I want and desire. His presence in our life is the one and only thing we should desire over all the tiniest of gods and temptations that come our way.
His Words come to me from Joel—chapter 2-v 12 “Yet even now—
Return to me with your whole heart, with fasting, weeping, and mourning.
13Rend your hearts, not your garments, and return to the LORD, your God,
For he is gracious and merciful, slow to anger, abounding in steadfast love,
and relenting in punishment.h 14Perhaps he will again relent
and leave behind a blessing,*Grain offering and libation
for the LORD, your God.i 15Blow the horn in Zion!
Proclaim a fast, call an assembly!j 16Gather the people!!!”
Again, I gather the people, in this writing---Please read all 4 chapters of Joel, for again He is telling us so!! The day of the Lord is Coming. For many like me, it is today! The end results of our actions and behavior coming down upon us. As for the “DAY OF THE LORD” for the whole world—I do not believe I have to say to any one with eyes to see and hears to hear—He is on the way!!! You know it, and it is time we live “this is the Day of the Lord.”
My daughter in Texas just called me--barely in a whisper, she is telling me "I am about to go into surgery." She has been having BACK problems in the past year after 'horsing around with children' and her back got twisted. She was told she had a buldging disc, and it was being treated with medicine and being watched. Well this morning, just like me; she woke up with severe back pain. She called asking for prayer.
Since writing the blog about caring for ourselves better, I have been praying, praising and noticing the negative thoughts trying to take over as I continued to journey through the day. My back pain is almost non existent when I am praying and praising, singing and keeping my thoughts aligned with God's love. I was listening to the song "Lord, make me a sanctuary, pure and holy, contrite and true" when Sarah called. As soon as I started to pray for her---the power of God came over me and I knew that His hand was upon both of us and He in His mysterious ways--once more God got His message through to me. "Pay attention daughter to the details, the clues, and mend and change your ways. I need you to walk close in obedience to My Words--for the lives and souls of others are at stake, and you are the vessel that brings my love into their lives. Don't forget just how important you are."
We all are dearest people of God--please do a better job of taking care of you and know that even though the inner human voice tells you are useless or not worthy---You are His and He loves you and made you for His purpose and His plan. Never accept any other truth but this Word of His. 'YOU ARE MINE!'