Why I Love my S-"Pray Tan" Time
Recently, I have been called regularly by the Holy Spirit to begin to pray the rosary daily. It has been so obvious that I could not miss the message. I grew up in a family that prayed the rosary on a daily basis, often including the scriptural rosary. It was through this holy practice that I was able to both memorize and engage with key scripture passages as a child and teen. The regular repetition was an excellent and fluid way to have these words of God become a part of my being. Admittedly, it made the rosary longer to say, and as a child that was sometime frustrating, but now as an adult, coming back to it, it is like visiting an old friend and is comforting in a way. Hearing these words wash over me, as they did decades ago, have the same beauty and familiarity.
As a grown adult, with many many more years of experiences behind me, the words of the scriptural rosary sometimes hit me in a different way. Just yesterday, I was at church where some parishoners gather to pray this ancient prayer regularly throughout October, the month of the rosary. A holy mama leading us, read aloud the reflection referencing the scripture, "In His anguish, He prayed even more earnestly," refererencing Jesus during the agony in the garden (first sorrowful mystery). I had heard the words hundreds, if not thousands of times throughout the praying of the rosary. scriptural study, mass, reflections, etc. But, oddly, this time those words seem to pulsate within me. Why though?
I began to contemplate what those words could mean. Two key points came to mind.
Jesus prayed even more earnestly? Did that imply there were times that he was less earnest in his prayer? Certainly, there are times my mind may drift while in prayer and I catch myself. Or maybe I am expecting a million dollar answer to a ten cent prayer as I read once on a bumper sticker....Jesus even had times where his prayer life was more or less earnest. I could take some solace in that as I continue on this path to improve my own prayer life and dedication.
Secondly, it struck me that it took anguish for Jesus to pray more earnestly? How often do I let times of anguish lead me to complaining and self pity vs. engaging in more earnest prayer calling out to God for His help as Jesus did in the garden that night? Rarely, is the answer in all honesty. I can be resentful of situations that cause me anguish. This moment of inspiration has helped me to see that those experiences that may cause me actual anguish can be a time to draw me closer to real prayer and connection to the God who made me and knows me better than I know myself. My Abba.
Can you feel a call to follow Jesus' example of praying more earnestly in times of anguish? Maybe you already do...