Did Jesus ever feel lackluster in His prayer?
As the end of the year approaches, I begin to reflect on my life. The older I get, the greater perspective I gain as each year seems to hold so much. Tonight, I am remembering my experiences as a Catholic School principal: the lead up and years in the role. It was a time of incredible spiritual growth both personally and professionally for which I will be forever grateful. Leading an entire Catholic school community is a heavy responsibility but one that bore much fruit ultimately.
As the title suggests, there is a confession within this recount with the first one having to do with being approached to apply when I was still in my twenties. As much as I portrayed confidence, I was not overly sure I could take on such a monumental responsibility. This became one of the hardest decisions that I had to make. Even the interview seemed above me. Usually, I am quick to make decisions and stand by them whatever the outcome. This time though, after being formally interviewed and offered the job, I could not make up my mind either way.
I asked for advice from any person that would listen to me. I had input from my husband, of course, but even then I was seriously struggling with it. I was not confident within my own abilities to lead an entire staff, student body, parent community as well as the Church community. After making countless pro and con lists, I decided to go to daily mass to see if God could give me some advice or show me some definitive sign. I was not truly expecting a voice from a burning bush outside the parish but I hoped for some internal peace either way. God had another plan…
As mass began, everything was going normally, but I was very distracted with my own thoughts. The deadline to accept or reject the offer was the next morning, so this was it. As the homily began, the priest began preaching on the Gospel reading for the day, as per usual, when suddenly, he stops speaking, looks up slowly, and says, “I realize this is highly unusual, but I can not ignore the Holy Spirit’s voice any longer. I feel the need to say that if you are struggling to make an important decision, I am supposed to tell you that the answer is ‘yes’!” I was completely shocked. I quickly looked around the sparsely filled pews to see if anyone else seemed to be affected by this announcement but it was only me. Talk about a decision-making moment!
This career move had a major impact on my own life, initiating some unforgettable memories within that beautiful school community. It was hard work with long hours most days, but God rewarded me abundantly with lifelong memories and strong relationships. Although I felt quite unprepared to enter that journey, I know that Jesus carried me many days. There is that saying that God doesn’t call the equipped, but He equips the called…and that was definitely the case with me. Is God calling you to serve him in some new way you are unsure you have the skills to do? Listen with an open heart. He may just tell you.