Humility and Patience are two virtues or gifts we rarely if ever ask God for. However they are very, very important in our spiritual walk and therefore sometimes God as a good parent, will say, “here take this bitter tasting medicine—it is good for you.”
My medicine came disguised as an end result of working nights and lack of sleep from my body not adjusting to sleeping well the first night off. As a result of this, these past two day found me dealing with extreme fatigue and weakness. Even with some short naps, by Saturday night, I was really tired and when I went to perform at a Blue Grass Festival my performance was affected by that tiredness, I forgot a line and was not pleased with the overall performance. The audience has dwindled and all pooped out who remained. It was as if a party was scheduled and all that was left was the clean up, when my performance went on. Driving home, I became very frustrated and emotional. Crying and venting my frustration to God. All that I felt could be compared to going through the 5 stages of grief: denial, bargaining, anger, depression and then acceptance. I was grieving over the fact that I ain’t what I yooster be. My body, my life, my hopes and dreams---fading fast in the evening of life. And so the process began to open up my heart to receive what I didn’t want to taste or be given---Humility.
There is a beautiful song, “Peace in the Valley” that speaks exactly my feelings. Even after a great night sleep last night, I still woke up drained and God in His mysterious ways lovingly reached out through little things on Face book of all things to bring me back to His loving comforting embrace. Two friends remarks, one a simple Hi in a message, another a reminder of beware the devil tactics, then there was a little three year old dancing perfectly to a slow grooving song, and finally the Pope giving his speech to the families. (Thank you Catholic365 for posting that!) Another friend who had recently lost her daughter unexpectedly also reminded me just how important it is for us to be there for each other. Even in our tiredness—we do not stop serving, we do not give up, and most importantly we continue to connect to God in faith and trust that He will use every time and moment of our life to help another if we show up.
This really is the first thing that we should do when we are tired, tempted, or struggling in our life--we come and enter into His Presence, His rest. I had done that this morning, saying prayers as I got out of bed. That beautiful Morning Offering. “Oh my God, I offer up to You this day, all of my prayers, my works, my joys, my sufferings of this day, for the intentions of Thy Sacred Heart in union with the most holy Sacrifice of Mass throughout the world and in reparation for my sins and in particular for the *fulfillment of all Your Promises and the completion of You Plan in my life and those of my family.* (*The last part I started to add years ago.) This prayer always reminds me to connect my ‘whatevers’ as a way of praying.
As the morning progress I thought of the Song “Peace in the Valley,” the second line is “I must go along until the Lord comes and calls me away.” So we keep on, remembering that—“the morning is bright and the Lamb is the light, the night (the emotional darkness) is as bright as the day.” We have Light of Christ in our darkness which can be as strong as when we have our emotional highs. But it is His Light that will light up that night in our hearts. So seek Him, no matter how weary you are. Accept what may come your way—knowing that God is right there with you to carry you, if need be. “Come unto me who are weary and I will give you rest”—a promise, like all His promises that He keeps. May the Peace of the Lord Jesus Christ be with you always dear friends.