Doubters to Evangelizers

“When they saw him, they worshiped, but they doubted.” Mt 28:17

 
The apostles were witness to a host of amazing signs and wonders performed by Christ. They saw Jesus heal the sick, cure the blind and the lame, cast out demons and they saw Him raise people from the dead. More incredibly, they knew of His death (as only John stayed to witness it all) and had now seen Him risen!

And, yet, they still doubted.

The apostles who were physically there with Jesus, who saw Him smile, heard Him laugh, clasped hands with Him, broke bread with Him, and lived with Him in His presence, immersed in His spoken word day after day, doubted.

They saw him but they doubted.

Matthew tells us they doubted and then were immediately instructed by Christ to “Go therefore and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit.” (Mt 28: 19) This is what we are left with at the end of Matthew’s gospel: eleven doubters commissioned to go out and evangelize the world.

At the end of Mark’s gospel, we are left with the same.

“But when they heard that he was alive and had been seen by her, they would not believe it.” (Mk 16: 11)

“And they [two disciples] went back and told the rest, but they did not believe them.” (Mk 16:13)

“And he [Jesus] upbraided them for their unbelief and hardness of heart, because they had not believed those who saw him after he had risen.” (Mk 16:14b)

Would not believe it.

Did not believe.

Unbelief.

Hardness of heart.

It doesn’t exactly paint a pretty picture at the end of the gospels. It seems anticlimactic to the resurrection. After all these men had been through, we expect to be told that they are strong, filled with complete reassurance and unwavering faith in Christ. But are we? No.

The ball has dropped; the coop has been flown; the ship has sailed. How would men, unsure in their own faith, go out to spread the gospel to all nations? Jesus  could have said He would find men better suited for the task. So why didn’t He?

Time after time in salvation history, God chooses the weak, the lowly, the humble, the sinners, to show His power and glory. Because of the weakness of man, we know that it is not the men who do great and wonderful things, it is God. Because of our own human frailty, we can know with certainty that God has worked these miracles through us.

So too, we can look at the beauty of the Catholic Church and know that man did not do this of his own design. It is through God’s hand that the Church has been built and sustained. “And I tell you, you are Peter, and on this rock I will build my Church, and the gates of Hades shall not prevail against it.” (Mt 16:18)

How did these men transition from a group of doubters cowering in a room to confident leaders of the Church willing to die for the gospel they spread across the nations? The Holy Spirit.

“When the Spirit of truth comes, he will guide you into all the truth.” (Jn 16:13a) God the Father in the name of the Son sent the Holy Spirit to the apostles to strengthen, teach and direct them.  They were emblazoned with the Spirit of God and “there were added that day about three thousand souls” (Acts 2:41) through baptism.

Man can be in the full presence of God and still doubt. No amount of toil will dig us out of that grave. We must reach out, beyond ourselves to the Father and ask for grace. He will send the Holy Spirit to fortify our faith, as with the apostles on Pentecost.

Know that we will all have doubts. It is part of the fallen nature of man, as doubt- a lack of trust in God- was motive to the first sin. But, it is what we do in the face of doubt that shows character.

Do not let your doubts separate you from the Lord. “Trust in the LORD with all your heart, and do not rely on your own insight. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths.” (Prov 3:5-6)

So, what will you do in the face of doubt?