We have seen many of the retailers' transition from Christmas to Valentine’s Day fast after December 25th. It is a day when a display of chocolate candy, stuffed animals, and even surf and turf is advertised everywhere from retail drugstores to supermarkets and places in between.
Indeed, St. Valentine’s Day is the first commercialized holiday of the year. It comes in a close second in floral sales behind Christmas. It is third in candy sales behind Easter and Halloween. What a bittersweet shock as we continue to abandon its Catholic identity.
What is even more shocking is how many do not have someone to celebrate this hyper-commercialized holiday in due part to being single. I have borne this cross for ten years (my last relationship was that long ago, and it was long distance). I have thought of a sister in Christ by sending them a card thinking of and praying for them since that last break up. In my book, the best act of charity to do towards someone.
Yes, I have been on dates, done things I regret, and have been on and off online dating through my good friend’s speed dating that went international in 2020, and she has been matching amazing couples for more than a decade. Kudos. I even had stints with CatholicMatch and CatholciChemistry. I even attended National Catholic Single Conferences, yet I am 33 years old and still single. There may be someone reading this who is in the same boat as me. That’s okay. There’s nothing wrong with anyone who is still single as one will do the doom scroll and see friends, relatives, and colleagues announce a new relationship, or engagement, and even share their highly anticipated wedding photos. Stop! Sure, it can be discouraging, yet we must let God into our lonely hearts.
Many of us have had that last relationship that has held us back from pursuing love. It is common. Even Jesus was single. He relates to us well. At the same time, he offered that desire for the salvation of souls mainly as he hung on the cross. Talk about greater love as laid out in John 15:13. In turn, he remembers those who will be hurt from marital infidelity, and abusive relationships, and those who feel that their worth is not good enough.
I am writing this to say that true love can wait. God is writing that true, good, and beautiful love story. It will be ten times better than a typical Nicholas Sparks novel. They’re beginning to be a little overrated, right? I digress.
To me, singleness is something Catholics will embrace at some point in their faith journey. It is an inevitable hurdle one must overcome. It will not be forever. God will call us to something greater. We still must be obedient to his will.
Some recommended resources
The Catholic Guide to Loneliness- Kevin Vost
Lillian Fallon Video series on Single through Ascension Presents (YouTube)
Jackie Angel's The Right Way to be Single (YouTube)
Aching to Find a Spouse Jackie Angel (YouTube)
Single and Catholic Judy Keane
Single for a Greater Purpose Luanne Zurlo
How to Find a Soulmate- Jason Evert
The Dating Blueprint- Jason Evert
Remember, you’re worth waiting for. God’s love is infinite.
“Love is patient; love is charitable. Love is not envious; it does not have an inflated opinion of itself; it is not filled with its own importance. Love is never rude; it does not seek its own advantage. It is not prone to anger; neither does it brood over setbacks. Love does not rejoice over wrongdoing but rejoices in the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never fails.” 1 Corinthians 13: 4-8