Where did all the Grown-ups go? Part II

Part II Child vs. Adult

Back in 1994 the Eagles released a single entitled “Get over it!” with one line saying, “I’d like to take your inner child and kick it’s little a--.”  The theme of the song centered around people who complain all the time, preferring to blame others rather than themselves.  Blaming others is an easy way of deflecting personal accountability.  Often times it is the artist who best reflects the reality of a society, holding up a cultural mirror, so to speak.  But artists may only relfect, and not change human nature. 

There are two types of children; the child by chronological age and the child by relationship.  The former is defined by time, with a legal limit to their childhood; normally the age of 18.  The latter is the child by relationship.  No matter how old they are, they are always someone’s child.  

Chronological: Child to Adult

With the exception of Adam and Eve, no human is born mature. As part of God’s design, it takes human beings an inordinate amount of time to mature compared to other life forms. A butterfly flies immediately from their cocoon. A baby giraffe will begin to walk within 60 minutes of birth, and a tiger cub will hunt for their food by age two. Some creatures require guidance and direction for a small period of time, others, no time at all.  Then there is the human; born unable to do anything but cry.  It takes years for them to mature to the point of self-sufficiency.

Imagine that you have a beautiful baby boy that grows into a healthy young man, yet at 23 he still insists on drinking milk from a bottle, being diapered, bathed, dressed, and sung to sleep every night.  Not only would it drive the parents crazy, but their child would be at a complete disadvantage once the parents are gone. By nature we are not meant to remain children forever and no parent expects to have their, otherwise healthy and able, child living with them their entire life.  We expect them to grow up, and perhaps become parents one day too.  

From feeding, to dressing, walking to speaking our develop is on a grand learning curve. Beyond the basics, we also need to acquire wisdom and understanding; the right of a rational creature. The evolution from infant to adult is time-consuming and complex; it requires hands-on parenting if the child is to become a fully functioning human being. Were it not for grown-ups, our offspring would never survive!

Relational: Child and Adult

This next aspect of childhood is dualistic in nature incorporating the two sides of one person.  One side is the child in relation to the parent, the other side is the adult in relation to maturity. The first is at conception, the latter some 18 to 21 years later, legally speaking.  Age does not guarantee maturity, but without it, there can be no adulthood.  Growth, physically, mentally and emotionally, has levels of achievement.  Ultimately, being able to fend for oneself is a sign of maturity, a first rung on the ladder, but to achieve true maturity is the skill to function in society with a modicum of reasonableness, knowledge and temperance. This pinnacle of maturity is to act rationally and responsibly by using a developed intellect, and a will for good.  This is the highest rung on the human ladder, yet, Christians are commanded to climb further.

Spiritual: Adult Child of God

Spiritually speaking, Catholic Adults fit into both of the categories above by simply being human, but there is another category for us; expectations as spiritual children of God. In our baptism we became adopted children of God, entering into a human-divine relationship with our Heavenly Father.  In Ephesians 1:5 Paul tells us that God, “…predestined us to adoption as sons and daughters through Jesus Christ to Himself, according to the good pleasure of His will.” And as his children, there is no greater expectation of God than one of spiritual maturity.

Being re-born spiritually into the family of God has some of the same qualities as a natural birth.  Infant Christians must learn and grow in faith and knowledge.  We begin as babes in the faith who become schooled over time (through confirmation or RCIA) and after the basics, our learning never ends; it only begins!  We are to study Sacred Scripture, pray, meditate, and participate regularly in the Sacraments.  We do not mature like a fine Scotch by sitting on a shelf waiting for time to pass, but by active participation in our salvation.  

Spiritual maturity requires time, but it is not equivalent to time. A 60-year-old cradle-Catholic may still possess a childlike understanding of Sacred Scripture and Tradition, because their growth was stunted.  Perhaps it was for lack of opportunity, or an unwillingness to learn. When I was a practicing Baptist I met individuals who proudly declared that they had been a member of their church for decades, but who had little spiritual knowledge or understanding. 

The apostle Paul was annoyed at times with some of the churches who still relied on “milk” and were not ready for “meat” in the faith. To the Church at Corinth he wrote (I Cor. 3:1-3), “Brothers, I could not address you as spiritual, but as worldly—as infants in Christ. I gave you milk, not solid food, for you were not yet ready for solid food. In fact, you are still not ready, for you are still worldly. For since there is jealousy and dissension among you, are you not worldly? Are you not walking in the way of man?”

And again in the letter to the Hebrews 5:12-14 we read, “Although by this time you ought to be teachers, you need someone to reteach you the basic principles of God’s word. You need milk, not solid food! For everyone who lives on milk is still an infant, inexperienced in the message of righteousness. But solid food is for the mature, who by constant use have trained their senses to distinguish good from evil.”

God desires for his children to grow in faith and knowledge, to be able to use the spiritual weapons of warfare, and to stand strong in the faith.  He also wants us to be prepared to “give an answer” for our faith and none of these may be accomplished while we are still spiritual babies.

One final “Chestertonian” thought; the paradox of being a child of God.  God wants us to grow to full spiritual maturity, except in one specific way; relationally.  Unlike our natural parents who long for the day when their children are independent, God wants his children to look to him for all their needs and have faith that he will provide.  God very much wants to be an active Father to his beloved kids and see us develop into spiritual grown-ups.   

Stay tuned for Part III – “Becoming a Spiritual Grown-up.”