in the silent desert of midnight darkness,
the quiet solitude of my own room,
where temptations I must resist show up again,
where not even the moon gives light
to my unrehearsed prayer
in which, I tell Jesus what I cannot do.
Sure I can feel His love
in the absolving hands of a priest
as God forgives my sins; I can taste
the Body of Jesus and drink His saving Blood
when He calls me to His table; I can even
face apprehension to receive on the tongue.
I want to do the Father’s will, but I cannot.
I want to follow where the Spirit leads,
go where the wind blows strong. Yes,
surely God’s Kingdom is always nearby
even when I do not sense it,
but the wind brings me to sand-filled storms
and harsh, thorny trials: I fall among cacti
even as I enter the comfort and sanctuary
of a fertile oasis. O, My Jesus….
Jesus, I fall
into the safety
of Your Kindly Arms,
but that’s the total of today’s surrender.
I want to be holy: a bearer of joy.
O, My Jesus,
each day I will be spend
more and more time in prayer,
seeking more and more grace