The Sign of Peace: More Awkward Than Usual

The Sign of Peace: More Awkward Than Usual

Growing up in the Church, for me the sign of peace exchanged before Communion was always, if not distracting, sort of odd. Just as we seem to be reaching a culmination of vertical worship directed to God we break our focus and divert our eyes to the horizontal, to each other. As a shy kid I remember feeling like it was a chore to shake others hands, like hugging your aunt who you never see. But I went along with it. As a teen there was an added factor of social anxiety if there was a girl my age close by or worse someone I knew from school.

During Covid there was a total break down in uniformity. For example, we had elbow bumps and fist bumps before the wave and nod eventually became the new normal. While I hated the 6 foot rule and the masking, I actually felt good about the wave and nod during the exchange of peace. I sort of make a 180 degree slow turn and wave like I'm on a parade float. Every once in a while I nod and mouth the words, ‘peace’. I think it’s probably too big of a break of the decorum to flash a peace sign to those I know who are at a distance, but some people do it.

Out here in California, we still haven’t gotten over the fear of germs and now, I guess it's the fear of rejection. It feels like it is a gamble. If you put it out there and there’s no reciprocation that is weird. I think this is why, a couple years after Covid, no one reaches out anymore unless they know each other. The other day, I took a chance and walked down the pew to shake my friend's hand and his wife. I felt bad because I tried to make eye contact and say hello when we arrived but they didn’t see me. So I decided to break the unwritten rule that handshaking was still forbidden. I just shook the guy’s hand the day before at a church meeting but they looked surprised. They hesitated a little, but slowly reached out to reciprocate.  

We probably need an announcement that ‘it is socially acceptable to shake hands’ or ‘we will resume the exchange of peace with a handshake’. So far there has been no announcement.

This situation begs the question, do we really need the exchange of peace? It seems to be fading away...I mean it went from a ‘kiss of peace’ in the early church, to a handshake and now to making eye contact and nodding. It also comes at the worst time when we are preparing our hearts for Communion.

I understand that we are the Body of Christ and that we are celebrating that unity in the spiritual effect of the Eucharist. I know that Scripture says that we must first reconcile and make peace with our neighbor before we offer our sacred gifts at the altar. I am even on board with organized social interaction to strengthen the community and build up a real spirit of cohesion as fellow Catholics.

Maybe this is an opportunity to move it to the beginning of the Mass and while we are at it, to reestablish protocols and norms. We need clarity on what the expectations are at this point. Are we ready to make an announcement about it? Are we good with moving it to the beginning of Mass? Can we re-establish norms and uniformity?