Fear

I ask god daily to speak to my heart. To imprint in my soul, what he wills of me that day. Sometimes it's easy to hear his voice, but lots of times he has to give me visuals.

     Last night, for some reason, I woke up and could feel my body shaking. It scared me. I thought "Did I have a nightmare?" Look for the life of me I could not remember my dream. I laid there for quite sometime in the total darkness. My body calmed down, but now I was just left with just my thoughts. I started praying. "Hail Mary full of grace the lord is with thee" And then back to my own thoughts. Back and forth it went, until afterward felt like hours, I went back to sleep .

     The fear of the darkness, loss of hours of sleep, the days happenings, were all of my previous thoughts that interrupted my special moment of prayer. I got frustrated with myself when I couldn't focus. Finally coming to the realization that something just doesn't want me to pray. Yes, it's that evil one. The one that hates the thought of me loving my God. He tries his best, but oh! Beloved Jesus, Mary, the saints and my guardian angel all come to my rescue.

     God says "Fear not for I'm with you", "be not anxious, for I am your God and I will strengthen you".

     If only those words would resonate right away. But instead, the feeling of a loneliness hits me and the "Fear" sets in. It's complicated for some of us as humans. Especially if we have sensitive souls. The thing I must remember is that 100%, My Lord has come to my rescue.

     May I always take a deep breath and fall into a strong heavenly arms and cast my fears aside, and just trust that "yes", He is with me, until the end of time.