Manners in an Unmannerly World

Anyone who has lived to my age certainly knows the ins and outs of kid and adult fundraising.  We all remember back to the mid-20th century and girls selling Girl Scout cookies.  Then schools, in general, got involved with fundraising to augment shrinking education dollars.  And, we all knew a teacher who spent their own money to create a stimulating learning environment for their students.  Whether it’s scouting, business and social organizations, schools, churches, or whatever, we all have experienced the “Would you be interested in buying . . . “ question.  We did it.  Our children did it.  Our grandchildren and in some cases, great-grandchildren are doing it.  And we are supporting and helping them in their fundraising endeavors.

Fundraising has become woven into the fabric of our day-to-day lives.  Friends, family, booths at local events, and places where people gather are all in the sights of fundraising and there is nothing wrong with that.  As long as the person doing the approach is polite, I don’t have a problem with it.  However, the person selling a raffle ticket, for example, has a reasonable expectation of a courteous response.  A simple “No, thank you”, is always the right response if you are not going to say yes. 

That being said, I've become aware of a couple of incidents recently that are so egregious that I just cannot keep my mouth shut.  Someplace along the line in our ever-evolving social media world and 24-hour news cycling, we have lost our manners. The word “manners” may sound old-fashioned, but say what you will, that is exactly what it is.  Is the way we address people polite or impolite?  Galatians 5: 22-23, tells us clearly, “But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law”.  Regrettably, too many thoughtless people respond with hurtful words and then let them fall where they may.

Recently, two female friends were reduced to tears on three separate occasions when a simple “No, thank you”, would have sufficed.  It could have just as easily been me as the target since we all happen to be involved in the same fundraising activity.  Thankfully, it wasn’t but since I’m not one to keep my mouth shut anymore, I decided to call out bad behavior and wrote a Letter to the Editor.

In our unmannerly world, Romans 12: 2 affirms that the truly free person “. . . does not conform to the pattern of the world, but is transformed by the renewing of (their) mind”.  Holding this close to my heart I assert . . .

It is NOT OKAY to threaten, aggressively question, spout uninformed opinions having nothing to do with the reality of a particular matter, or intimidate someone.

It is NOT OKAY to brush off anything she has to say back and reduce her to tears. 

It is NOT OKAY for people around you to remain silent and let you get away with bad behavior.  “Oh, that’s just so and so being so and so” Does. Not. Cut. It.  You are as shameful as he was because you remained silent.

It is never okay to be disrespectful, discourteous, impolite, inconsiderate, abrupt, deliberately thoughtless, or ungracious.  In Matthew 7:12 we are reminded - "So in everything, do to others what you would have them do to you, for this sums up the Law of the Prophets".  Kindness isn’t hard and each act of kindness, even a brief “No, thank you”, shines like the stars in the heavens.