Words Do Count

JOY is a word that lifts my spirits. Whether heard or read, I’m a happier person for a moment or two.
It amazes me at how words can either spread J-O-Y or leave us dispirited. A kind word can make all the difference in a person’s day and change it for the better. And I’ve come to realize that an accompanying smile brightens our countenance like an unspoken word of joy.
During Advent, the season of hope and waiting, I commit to being more conscious of the words I speak in public or in private. Of course change for the better isn’t always as immediate as I’d like it to be. When my words are harsh or critical, they can feel like I’m spewing venom that leaves a disquieting note in the ears of the listener. My thoughts are one thing, but when spoken aloud in an anxious manner, I know they accomplish nothing positive even when seemingly unburdened from whatever emotions unleashed them. But am I really unburdened? Don’t those same anxieties come back and sometimes multiply until they are released yet again?
Harsh words happen. Most likely, we’ve all been on either side of the equation, as in receiving or giving vitriol, whether we’ve been the misbehaving adolescent, a disagreeable spouse, or a criticizing voice to family or friends. I recall as a teenager stomping up the stairs to my bedroom and yelling back to my mom that she was “full of s--t!” To my surprise, she threw a dictionary in my direction—an unabridged version! Yet, I don’t remember what prompted my reaction in the moment, other than teenage angst. Fortunately, it was the only overblown encounter I recall, although we did have other milder disagreements no doubt.
I’d like to think I’m a forgiving person when the recipient of perceived mean-spiritedness. Yet, deep inside the comments hurt even if I momentarily brushed them off or exchanged them with an inoffensive or polite response. And that’s a tough one, because the episode can be like a broken record in my thoughts.. On self-reflection, it’s really a bruised ego that lingers on and a measure of judgment that the words were intentional. It’s quite obvious why Jesus replied as he did when Peter asked him how many times we should forgive a brother or sister. Jesus said “I tell you, not seven times but seventy-seven times.” (Matthew 18:22) And, I’ve prayed for the person that offended me with the hope of being more understanding even if I'll never understand the true impetus for their hurtful words. I’ve read that one can’t truly forgive without compassion or empathy, so that’s something I need to work on repeatedly.
Shakespeare’s Hamlet replied “Words, words, words” when asked by chief counsellor, Polonius, what he was reading. Hamlet’s answer underlined the fact that whatever he read was meaningless. And, yes, words can be like vapor, especially when we’re distracted or disengaged. But that rarely happens when the words are directed at us, whether kind or harsh. They can leave their impression.
So, I begin a new year in the Advent season with joy in my heart and a forgiving nature. Over the years, I’ve eaten plenty of my own words with misperceptions and unjustified criticisms. I will continue to forgive with the hope and prayers that I will receive the same forgiveness for my harsh words. And a smile is like a kind word! We need more genuine smiles in a world that can be filled with sadness at any moment.
When I fall into a funk, I’ll remember a word that gives me a lifeline to a better attitude and improved disposition: JOY!!! And then there are the two words that ALWAYS lift me out of the blues! MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!!