Dreams Toward the Eternal Realm

Several years ago I purchased “Tales from the Perilous Realm,” a collection of fairy stories by J.R.R. Tolkien. I quickly discovered a wealth of writing beyond his better-known Middle Earth Legendarium, even though there are only five stories and an essay. 

From “Tales…” I discovered my now favorite Tolkien story in or out of the Legendarium: “Leaf by Niggle.”

I had read that story three times in two weeks. And perhaps a dozen more times in the three years since my first reading of it. I identify with it. I am a niggler. 

A niggler is one who (and this is an archaic expression) ‘means well but never really accomplishes much.’ They strive to do this and that, but for good or ill, get distracted by the business of life and never get around to completing that which they most truly yearn to do. Perfectionism may be one cause. Other character defects may be in play.

In the story, Niggle paints a picture of a tree and gets caught up focusing on one leaf, trying to get it perfect. Other pictures are ignored or are tacked along the edges of the canvas. Much of this appears to be symbolic of Tolkien's writing career. Whereas Niggle was focusing on the leaf in his picture, Tolkien throughout his life tried to focus on completing "The Silmarillion," his epic creation myth and the backstory of Middle Earth. He never finished it, never being satisfied with the details. There also was the ‘distraction’ of his university career. It fell to his son Christopher to complete the epic narrative after poring through written material his father left behind.

I appreciated that Niggle is described as a 'painter by nature,’ rather than 'by trade’ or 'occupation.’ We are not our 'jobs' or 'occupations.' They don't define us. I wonder how many people are 'something by nature’ but never realize what that ‘something’ is.

Our dominant economic systems (capitalism and socialism) both reduce human identity to something that serves an economic ideology. Neither ideology is all that conducive to helping us become who we are meant to be; or for that matter what we want to be. Some people are blessed and manage to find their niche or place. They discover their gifts and talents and make 'productive' use of them. But not so for everyone. Some suffer from self-inflicted wounds, while others from external sources.

This is why I love how Tolkien described Niggle as a 'painter by nature.’ That is what he was supposed to be, whether in Time on Earth or Eternity in Heaven. Perhaps his work on Earth wasn't meant ‘to be finished' there, but it was just a seed, waiting to 'die' as St. Paul describes our resurrection in one of his letters and then 'bear fruit:

1 Corinthians 15: 36-44:

How foolish! What you sow cannot be brought back to life, unless it first dies. And what you sow is not the body that will be in the future, but a bare grain, such as of wheat, or of some other grain. For God gives it a body according to his will, and according to each seed’s proper body. Not all flesh is the same flesh. But one is indeed of men, another truly is of beasts, another is of birds, and another is of fish. Also, there are heavenly bodies and earthly bodies. But while the one, certainly, has the glory of heaven, the other has the glory of earth. One has the brightness of the sun, another the brightness of the moon, and another the brightness of the stars. For even star differs from star in brightness. So it is also with the resurrection of the dead. What is sown in corruption shall rise to incorruption. What is sown in dishonor shall rise to glory. What is sown in weakness shall rise to power. What is sown with an animal body shall rise with a spiritual body. If there is an animal body, there is also a spiritual one.

Courtesy: Sacred Bible: Catholic Public Domain Version

Now St. Paul was writing about our bodily resurrection, but the analogy could be extended to our acts, our wills, our intentions, and desires on Earth.

SPOILER ALERT: (although the ‘spoiler’ shouldn’t mar the enjoyment of the story if you haven’t read it yet. It’s one thing to discover a little about an ending beforehand, but when that journey is still wonderful...) ...but Heaven is that place where the seeds of your life, including dreams, come true. It is that place where we can find our true selves and be what we were meant to be, but couldn’t, due to circumstances that were within and without our control.

For when Niggle dies and passes through a type of Purgatory, he enters what likely is Heaven, and there he sees his painting is made real and he has the chance to finish it... and also go on to do more...

The point is that Heaven is where your work is finally accomplished, where you get to finish things without distractions.

I’m reminded of the epic scene in the film, “Field of Dreams,” where Ray Kinsella (played by Kevin Costner) asks his father:

"Is... is there a Heaven?"

And John Kinsella, the father (played by Dwier Brown) replies:

"Oh, yeah... It's the place dreams come true.”

Ray Kinsella's distraction was the typical father vs son conflict plus a fair bit of 1960s rebellion. For anyone among us who has ‘unfinished business’ with our fathers (and mothers) and this includes just loving them again and "Who cares about issues up here anymore?" this scene is powerful (especially the later “Hey… Dad? You wanna have a catch?” bit. How can anyone not blubber at that?) 

In Letter No. 45, written to his son Michael, Tolkien states: "There is a place called 'heaven' where the good here unfinished is completed; and where the stories unwritten, and the hopes unfulfilled, are continued."

I found great relief, joy, and hope in reading "Leaf by Niggle," as well as discovering the letter Tolkien wrote to his son. It doesn't mean that we should no longer bother trying to finish our paintings, our novels, or our attempts to grow the perfect tomato, but to keep trying, and to keep walking along that narrow road towards Heaven's gates.