Stubborn Love

It seems the longer I serve Christ, the closer I draw to Him, the more my thought life assails me. Perhaps it is because I am less willing today than I have been in the past to pass off my godless thoughts with an insipid and cavalier excuse like, “I’m just a sinner saved by grace.”

No, I know I am much more than that. I am a child of my heavenly Father, and I ought to do a much better job reflecting Him in my actions, as well as in my thoughts.

It was in that frame of mind that I awoke on October 27, 2011. Nearly four years ago. My dreams that evening left me feeling dirty in the morning when I walked into my prayer room to begin my time with God.

I could hardly address Him. I felt so guilty that I had so willingly participated in the terrible sinfulness of my dreams. I sat in my recliner and without lifting my eyes to heaven, I said all I knew to say:” I’m so tired of continuing to do the wrong things.”

I remember the morning conversation as if it was yesterday. Before I could finish my sentence, the Holy Spirit interrupted with this: “But I am not tired of loving you.”

It is now four years later. I do not believe my thought life has gotten any better. Sometimes I don’t want to even go to sleep at night for fear my dreams will again betray me.

But God.

I so very much love those two words put together like that. That clause, But God, reminds me again and again, God is greater than my weaknesses. He is more merciful than I could ever deserve. More forgiving than I could ever hope for. More in love with me than I could ever imagine.

This morning, October 23, 2015, I entered my prayer room to begin my time with Jesus. As I always do when I begin my hour with Him, I placed headphones over my ears and opened my phone’s music program. The music library is set to play random songs.

Kathy Trocolli’s “Your Stubborn Love” began to play. Here is a link to the music and lyrics. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MvGono8mqFg

This morning my heavenly Father again reached down to encourage me. And oh, after listening to the song – twice – I was so encouraged.

Perhaps, after you listen to the song, you also will find encouragement as He reminds you again of His stubborn love for you.

(You can find more of my thoughts about Jesus at www.inhimalone.com).