Free will when you've made the wrong choice. It eats at you.

Everything has an opposite. God gave everyone free will. I think people confuse free will with the conclusion to thinking they have the option of doing what they want. But it's not that at all. God gave us free will to be able to Honor Him in all things by choosing what is right and good. That includes decisions that may seem uncomfortable to do or admit. Take for instance, a scenario of a bunch of high school kids on a weekend get together. Sunday rolls a long and everyone is sleeping soundly. 1 of them wakes up and says, " wow, it's time to get ready for church. I almost overslept". Meanwhile, everyone is still sleeping. Not showing any signs of rousing. Do you think to yourself, "Everyone else is not getting up. I'm so tired too. We stayed up pretty late. If they're not going to get up, neither will I. Besides I don't want to feel out of place. I'm going back to sleep too! If they'rere not going to care then neither will I".

     Who do you think this choice hurts the most? Your soul or God's? It's obvious. It hurts God the most. The decision you made is not the right one. It hurt God because you chose to break God's rules. He created the rules. The rules have not changed for thousands of years. So our choices must be based on what God our Father has deemed Righteous and Holy and Good. ALL thoughts and ALL actions. Period.

     Trust me, I fail quite regularly and I'm one of the those people that kneel in the confessional and say my sins out loud and realize they are the same sins I said last week. What is wrong with me? Why don't I get it? I'll tell you why. Because I'm prideful and weak. We are all pretty  much prideful and weak. I think it's because we don't realize that God the Creator made us, and all things good came From the beginning of our creation. It is only our "free will" that we have chosen, that taints us to get into habits that are harmful to ourselves. We are prideful and narcistic. People who must learn the rules of God and follow through with them, all to honor God our creator. It's hard. Loving someone who has hurt you so badly or treated you so badly. Or eat that piece of meat on a Friday during Lent because it smells so good. There are a million times we could make the wrong choice, but it is on us how we choose to keep ourselves in the state of Grace. We are not perfect and our God knows that. With every new day, God gives us a chance to try again to get it right. Thank goodness for confession. We are going to mess up time after time but in His great knowledge of knowing this He picks us up and sets us back up on our feet again by the Grace we receive when we go to confession and are truly sorry for causing Him pain for making the wrong choices. Some of us are more stubborn and unthinking and let our mouthd or our feelings take over when we should Stop and think about the consequences are actions or words can give to us after we have done them..  I'm 1 of those . That like Saint Paul said, " the Spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak". I think to myself, I wish I had tape over my mouth 24-7, because sometimes that's the only way I won't say anything that's going to get my soul in trouble. You w/o always know when you've made the wrong choice. It eats at you till you must admit that you are wrong. Thank God for that feeling. Because it is only when you don't feel that, that you should realize you are not in God's good grace, but are now owned by the evil 1. God doesn't want that because of our free will. We are the ones who choose not to be His. If we could see how the devil is rolling on the floor laughing at us, we would surely not make the choices that we do. In retrospect, if we could see the Heart of Jesus, or our sweet Guardian angel crying and hanging their heads at our bad choices, we would be filled with such remorse that we would fall on our knees and beg for forgiveness at that very moment. But instead of immediately, it can take hours, days, years to come to realize that we made the wrong choice.

     "Oh God, keep giving this unruly child of yours your grace, as I daily pray to make the right and good choices you have set before me. May I always forget myself, whether it be in suffering, patience, love, and service to another. May I always honor YOU by making "YOU" the right choice".