Living A Willing Sacrifice

   Daily we hear these words at Mass at the beginning of Consecration. We hear of how Jesus willing offered himself up as a living sacrifice, even to the point of dying for us. Willing, Jesus went to Jerusalem, to Calvary, to His death on the cross out of LOVE for us! Willing!! How about us, do we mean it when we say 'Thy Will be done, Thy Kingdom come into my life?'
    Today, while at a day of recollection here on God's Holy Mountain: Subicaco Ark----God dug deep into my emotions and inner being to reveal a greatly needed insight. At age 76, I had a buried resentment about the "why" of my life's story. I am a singer, a writer, an artist, a musician--but for over 60 years---I was just an nurse, an ordinary wife, mother, grandmother ---and I felt a nothing nobody, wondering why my other gifts or talents went 'nowhere.'
    In other words, like many--I was deeply angry--wondering 'why God, why?' Why did my life go the way it did, or why did the many trials, and sufferings come my way? Why, when You, oh God deeply love me and promised me my heart's desires? How come others achieved fame and recognition because of their voice, or talents, the art, their books written becoming best sellers?  Why God, why was I born the this way or raised this way?  Why, God, why!!!
     Along with the tears, the inner sadness, the feelings of unworthiness---sweetly, gently came the revelation of why. In His own words---I am reminded. Jeremiah 1:5 “Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, and before you were born I consecrated you; I appointed you a prophet to the nations.”  I knew of the plans I had for your life--all the gifts that you would possess--I knew you my child, and knew that you would out of love for God be a willing sacrifice to go where I send you, to do as I ask.
     Forgive me if not all went your way, your will. I know that you know, through the gifts given from the Holy Spirit; that My way, My Will is truly what you desired more than all else. One person at a time is, was and will be blessed by the gifts given to you. Because of My Presence in your life, you are a gift to be given. You live so others may live---for all these people, for all their souls--you were born, blessed and given --you too were sent to be a living sacrifice, out of Love!  Love for Me, your Lord and God and all the others sent to you.
    A peace came over me, like never before, and even more greater did I feel God's presence as I confessed this resentment and anger in Confession. God's brightness and Peace filled the room, that even the priest said He too, saw it and felt it. A peace that cannot be passes all understanding!   
    Many, or should I say most of us may have the questions asked and the deep emotions felt about their lives and why their lives turned out the way it did. If so, then please seek the Wisdom of God and ask Him to reveal to your inner being, why? Reveal to you just how much He loves you and then say your Fiat, or Yes Lord, be it done unto me as You will! Think about Jesus and the Agony in the Garden---He too struggled with 'Why, Father, why? Thank God, Jesus said--"Your Will be done."

All of Psalm 139 will reveal to you just how deep is the love of God for us and how closely He is a part of our moment by moment life.
"For you formed my inward parts; you knitted me together in my mother's womb. I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well."