How many kinds of Baptist Churches are there?
Jack said, “Roberta! You shouldn’t have yelled at Connie like that. You’ve been friends since childhood. Besides, I’m still gonna talk to Joe.”
Roberta, “Oh, I know. I’m just so disappointed by those two.”
I named our child after him, remember.
I’ll call back later and apologize. Besides, I think we ought to see if they want to come over for a “Roman’s road.”
I don’t know, Roberta. You know Joe. He’s a great apologist. When we were talking earlier, he went straight for the jugular! He knows all my concerns and regrets about Reformed theology. The first thing he said was, “remember when we used to lament that there were so many denominations”. And he had me. He really shook me. YOU and I have talked about it, too.
(But Roberta wasn’t listening.) But no one, who honestly reads the Bible, can go the Roman’s Road and believe in the Catholic Church! That’s what we’re going to do! I’ll call them right now!
Later that evening, DING DONG, DING DONG
Jack greets them: CONNIE! JOE! Man its good to see you. Especially after Roberta was so rude! (Giving Roberta a mock glare).
Joe: Oh, that’s allright. I know it came as a shock to you.
Connie: It came as a shock to us! (all laugh).
Roberta: Come in, guys. I really am sorry. You guys are our best friends and we’re not going to let a little thing like the Catholic Church get between us, right?
ALL: RIGHT!
Everyone walks in and gets comfortable.
Joe looks on the living room table and sees a pamphlet, “I see you’ve got the Roman’s Road out.”
Roberta: Yeah, Joe. After Jack talked to you, he went and dug that up. I don’t know why. But if you’d like to talk about it.
Joe: I sure would. I think we owe you guys an explanation. Jack and I spoke earlier and you weren’t there, Roberta. So, I’ll start from the beginning.
Jack: Ok.
Roberta: Sure.
Joe: Well, I’m going to tell you when it started for me. Because you weren’t even there, Babe.
Connie: I wasn’t?
No. It started with a discussion I was having with Pastor Bob. I don’t remember all that we talked about, but I remember how he summed it up. He said, “You know, Joe. Some people read the Bible and get confused.”
Joe pauses and looks around. Everyone just stares at Joe.
Well, that made me mad. (Getting angry, he continues). He says some people get confused reading the Bible. How could he say that? I got angry and told him that the Bible is perspicuous! ANYONE and everyone can read the Bible and understand it. That’s why Luther made it available to the masses! And so, I said to him, “If we can’t trust the Bible, we may as well be Catholics!”
And that’s where it started with me. That’s when I started looking up some things about the Catholic Church. I looked up about the Pope, about Apostolic Authority, about …
(Roberta elbows Jack and whispers, I see what you mean, we need to get them on the Roman’s Road.)
…Tradition. And it made sense to me.
The stove alarm rings, diding, diding
Roberta interrupts, O, hey, the foods ready! Let’s continue this later. Connie, you want to help me.
Of course!
Jack (grinning): Yeah, you ladies go in the other room and get the food ready. This is man talk!
Connie: Look at’em Roberta. They may as well be in a treehouse, out in the back…
Roberta: …with a shingle that reads, “no gurls aloud”. (All laugh).
Roberta to Connie, as they walk to the kitchen, Connie, how could you do this? Remember Laura Grainger?
Connie: How could I forget?
We, YOU AND I, we talked her into leaving Dan when he converted! And now….
To my undying shame. (Connie wagging her head sadly).
We did the right thing! Honey, let’s talk about the Roman’s Road.
Sure, Roberta. The Roman’s Road is a two way street, you know. But before we do, can I say something?
Sure.
Well, this is kind of sensitive. Please forgive me.
Forgive you?
Yes, because its something you’ve kept secret for a long time.
Me?
Remember when your mom died?
Roberta stops.
Remember when you used to talk to her.
Duh, she was my mom.
I mean after she died?
How do you know about that?
We’ve been friends a long time.
What does that have to do with you being Catholic?
When Joe was explaining all the things he had found, he talked about the communion of saints and how Catholics talk to them like family….departed family. That reminded me, of you and your mom.
Roberta, hesitantly…. That’s necromancy.
I used to do it too.
What?
Talk to your mom.
Talk to my mom?
Whenever I was near you. Whenever I was in your house, I could feel her presence. Especially when your dad was around. She clung to him.
Roberta sobbing now. It’s not necromancy, is it?
Roberta, honey, not only can you talk to your mom, but you can talk to God’s mama, too.
Roberta cries out. “Oh mom. I stopped because they told me it was wrong. I’m so sorry!”
Connie and Roberta hug and cry together.
Jack opens the kitchen door. What’s wrong? Did you burn the food?