Patience as a Virtue that Leads to Other Virtues

More than 50 years ago, Walter Mischel and his colleagues at Stanford University conducted one of the most revealing studies in the social sciences—the Marshmallow Experiment. In this study, a group of preschool children were instructed not to eat the marshmallow set in front of them for at least fifteen minutes until the researcher came back in the room. They were told that if they were able to resist the urge, they would get rewarded with a second marshmallow. Some of the children were able to resist and hold out for the second marshmallow; some were not. Fast forward several years; the same group of children were studied as a follow-up to this experiment. What this study illustrated, along with other studies that followed, was evidence of a link between the ability to delay gratification and addictive behaviors, spending habits, career choices, the pursuit of higher education, and marriage outcomes.

Fast forward to today and we’ve noticeably amped up our cravings as well as our impatience. Having inquisitively followed the developments in psychology, history, philosophy, society in general, and even morality, I often wonder where we stand on our ability to delay gratification and practice patience. With society’s modern advances, particularly in the technologies we choose to use and what societal norms and values we choose to prioritize, we often find ourselves willing to sacrifice patience and its virtuousness for comfort, convenience, and sometimes even relationships.

Would we still have the patience to wait three hours for dinner to be ready? Or a minute for dial-up modem to connect to the internet? A text just came in, but can we still manage to wait a little longer to pick up that smartphone? Do we absolutely have to read that text right now, even while we are in a conversation with a friend, or even when we are driving? Another driver is trying to merge in front of us, but do we have enough patience to kindly let them in? Or is gaining that split second on the road worth that rage?

Patience is a virtue and that rings even more true today.  However, just like the muscles in the body that are unused or underused, patience muscles atrophy. As our society continues to chase speed, comfort, and convenience, it is so easy to lose sight of the value of the virtue of patience.

Patience is our ability to endure difficult circumstances. The word patience comes from the Latin root word “pati” which means to suffer, to endure, or to be resilient. Like a muscle or a habit, patience can atrophy, shrink, and get weaker, but it can also be developed and cultivated. And we need to strengthen our patience muscles for it can serve as our coping tool in times of distress, frustration, and suffering.

They say that good things come to those who wait. For the patient farmer, a bounty harvest. For the patient student, insight and wisdom. For the patient artist, beauty. For the patient activist, social change. Perfection takes patience. Patience leads to good things. Patience leads to beauty, to wisdom, to grace, and to love. As Saint Augustine said, patience is the companion of wisdom. What I learned and wrote about previously is that patience leads to success and even sanctity. Socrates might have been on to something when he proposed that the virtues, although each one distinctly defined, form a unity. Patience is a foundational virtue that can lead us to other virtues. It is a fruit of the Holy Spirit that works together with the other fruits such as courage, kindness, self-control, faithfulness, peace, joy, and love.